A Letter To All New Graduates:

Hello Graduates:

Hello Graduate!! Welcome to the exciting (yet terrifying) world of adulthood. After years of schooling and preparation, you have finally made it and are now officially a college graduate with the whole world in front of you!!!

Now that you are here, please take a moment to think about all you have accomplished. Take the time to reflect on all the memories you created during college, about what you learned in your field and about yourself, consider how much you have grown and how much growing you still have time to do!!

Now that you have took a moment to look back, now use this opportunity to look forward. What is next? Some of you may have figured that out, some of you may not have, and that is okay!  This is the perfect opportunity to think about what is really important to you, what you want in life, and where you want to end up!!!

You can be anything you want to be, you can achieve whatever it is that you want to achieve. You are a college graduate, and there is nothing holding you back. So go out there, leave your mark on this world and make it a better place.

The world is your oyster, so go get them tiger!!

Sincerely,

The Sorority Girl Thought Team

Six Years of Freedom and Happiness

This past Sunday, I officially celebrated six years with my now fiancé (AJ).

To me, this is yet another major achievement for us as a couple. To me, it has been six amazing years with a man I truly love.

However this achievement also made think about our relationship and how my past still affects us as a couple, even six years later.

As some of you may know, or have read in my first blog post), I not only grew up in a abusive household, I am also a "survivor" of sexual abuse.

While I am proud of where I have ended up despite the horror of 10 years of that specific kind of abuse, I can't help but sometimes notice, how should I word this, the results from that kind of abuse?

For example; I will be the first to admit that I can be insecure, I sometimes need to be reassured that I am loved despite the fact that I know I am, I can also be very immature when others begin talking about sex, even when it is just in a joking nature, it always makes me slightly uncomfortable, and I hate silence, it makes me feel like something is wrong.

I see these traits as side- effects of living in an abusive household and while they are still there I have seen such improvement in that short amount of time.

I also seen some examples of amazing strength in myself, I see these to be the most valuable things I have, despite living in that situation, I still am an good person. For example, I have the ability to be compassionate, to still see the good in others, I also believe in myself and know I can achieve all that I want to make happen. I also believe in myself to the point that I won't settle for less that what I want in life. 

Overall, I am so happy to be continuing this amazing journey with the man I love. In addition, I am excited to continue to grow stronger and stronger as I continue my life in healthy environment. 
 

Sweet Is The Voice of a Sister In The Season of Sorrow

 On my bid day, I was so excited I could barely run to the Kappa house. And just like all new members know, the time flies by. Before I knew it, I had a Big and a Grandbig and I couldn't wait to have a little of my own. I felt like I waited an eternity before we started recruitment, but we finally did....and I met her. 

She was beautiful, blonde, bubbly, funny, smart, determined,...literally the entire package. She was someone who other sororities would fight for and I wanted her from the moment I met her. When they read us the bid list, I screamed when I heard her name and when she came running to the house, I remember her basically jumping into my arms....we were officially sisters. 

It goes without saying that she became my perfect, precious little. We were inseparable. We had sleepovers, wine nights, family dinners, and more. We'd go to parties and socials, she'd borrow my clothes and I'd steal her scarves. We fought like a married couple, and I mean fought, we were both stubborn as hell but soon both of us would miss the other too much and cave. She was the perfect little and all I wanted was to be the perfect big. 

I'll be graduating soon and taking the next big steps in life. And when I think about my future, I think about her as my bridesmaid, being there when my children are born, seeing my kids grow and being apart of their lives. All of the things that any big and little pair hope for. 

But my dreams are now shattered. 

On September 12, 2014, I got the news that my precious wonderful little had passed away from an accident. She was 19 and had the world at her feet. I wanted those sentimental moments for myself but I also wanted her to include me in hers. I had pictured this future after college, and now....I'm lost. 

Nobody wants to ever think this would happen to them. During big/little reveal, you never think you are only going to get a year. I have been so angry that God would put someone so special in my life, someone who I loved so much, and then just rip them away from me. Because that's what happened.....but everything happens for a reason? 

My little had that hanging in her room on a canvas. "Everything happens for a reason" Well, I don't see that reason yet. But I do feel her around me everyday, slowly whispering to keep waking up and take some baby steps. So maybe I will believe that eventually, until then, I just have a void that I can't fill. And it feels like it hurts more everyday, but I trust that now I have an angel who is taking care of me. 

To my precious, wonderful, baby panda...rest sweetly and continue to be my sunshine. Be with me, because even though I'm supposed to always take care of you, I need you to take care of me and keep me going. I miss you more then you will ever possibly know. 

And for the rest of you, hug your littles. Squeeze them tight and never take one second for granted. They are our precious, little sorority babies and in one second, they can be gone. 

In honor of my Brookie 

1995-2014 

"I give you all my pandas"