Having More Than One Little

With the fall semester quickly approaching, it's that time of year again. Yes, school is starting and that's just dreadful exciting but that also means recruitment is right around the corner. With recruitment comes PNMs and with PNMs comes the potential for new littles. Perhaps this is your time to shine and take one of these new girls under your wing to become their big sister or maybe you've been an active member of your organization for a while and have had the opportunity to take more than one little. Whatever the case may be, sharing the experience of your sorority (or fraternity) with your little is so special and it is a relationship that should not be taken lightly. I have one actual little sister, Little J, who is an initiated member of my sorority and I cherish our relationship to no end. 

Little J and I at her initiation (as seen on TSM).

I also have five other individuals who are very much like littles to me, I call them my "unofficial littles". They're equally as important and I try my best to make sure I'm always there to support them. Each one of them incorporates a unique piece to my puzzle that I call life. To put it in simple terms that might help you understand, they're like my adopted children and their Greek affiliation (or lack of Greek affiliation) does not matter to me because I'll be there for them for life. Maybe you've been in a similar circumstance or maybe you share your big with another person and are having a difficult time adjusting. So, without further ado, here are a few key points I've put together of what you should and should not do if you have a little, multiple littles, or if you're considering taking a little in the future.

You Should: Have group dates. Make your littles hang out with each other because, let's face it, you'll probably graduate before any of them and be off into the real world before they know it. Having those family bonds solidified before you graduate makes the transition much easier for everyone involved. Plus, it's always nice to have someone in your corner if your big is not around. 

You Should: Treat them equally. No one likes to feel left out so even if your connection with one little is stronger than it is with your other little(s), always make an effort to show them you care.

Different Day. Different Little. Different Leggings. Same Pose.

You Should: Celebrate their accomplishments! Little one got a new car, little two got a new puppy, little three killed their internship interview. No matter how big or small these events are, they're important to your little. Let them know that you're thinking about them! 

You Should: Make a fun family name or give each little a nickname. Like I mentioned, I have acquired a small family of littles. We are the Nugget Family, not like chicken nuggets, but somehow that's the association that's transpired. So, as a result, they're my little pack of nugs. We even have our own secret Facebook group for easy communication but we'll pretend like I didn't just spill the beans with that one. 

Some of the Nugget Family at a tailgate event.

You Should: Take note of how each little reacts in a troubling situation or when dealing with stress and anxiety. Some people love to be hugged and soothed during times like these when others just need a pat on the back and an ice cream cone. Know how to help your little through these tough times. 

You Should Not: Favor one little over another. Yes, of course, sometimes you can't control the connection you have with someone but don't let it show. Always, always, always try to remain neutral. 

You Should Not: Forget the important dates in your littles' lives. Birthdays, anniversaries, milestones - write them down for yourself so you can always send some love their way on these special days.

You Should Not: Let too much time pass in between hanging out or catching up. Obviously, it's hard to coordinate with multiple schedules especially when you have a busy schedule of your own. However, you're never too busy to shoot your littles individual texts or messages to let them know you're thinking about them. 

You Should Not: Disown your little. Every so often, people who share a very close bond get annoyed with each other and feel that it's necessary to push back. Try not to do this, especially with your little. It's okay to have disagreements but mend those ties as soon as possible. Even if your little irritates you and you find yourself filled with negative emotions, always make an effort to mend the relationship. Your little is like your child and you have assumed the role of a parent - remember that always. Your little is yours for life not just for four years. 

Twinning with Little J.

If you have one little or twenty littles, your little looks up to you probably more than you realize. In many cases, you're the one that drives their passion for your organization or Greek Life and you give them the tools necessary for being an incredible big one day too. Aside from that, they learn from you. You indirectly teach them, hopefully, the right ways to navigate college and they usually keep you on your toes. The best way to summarize this would be to say, treat your little(s) how you would want to be treated. Best of luck this Fall if you're searching for your first, second, or even your third little. Whatever number you're on, having a little is always an awesome experience. 

What's your favorite memory with your big or little? Comment below and let us know! 

What Your Mother Doesn't Tell You About: Going Greek

What Your Mother Doesn't Tell You About: Going Greek

You've seen it on TV. You've read about it in magazines. You've probably even seen these people on your college campus. You guessed it, I'm talking about the men and women of Greek Life. The leaders, scholars, philanthropists, and friends who make your college experience one worth living. Let me take you back to the first week of your freshman year in college, that was five years ago for me. You probably lived on campus, went to freshman orientation, and met some pretty cool people called your roommates. You might have even lived with your bestie from high school. My first week of freshman year was literally the worst week of my life. I go to a university that is less than 30 minutes away from my hometown. So, naturally, I thought commuting from home would be way better than living on campus because there would be so much more room for activities at my house (step brothers? get it? anyone?). Anyway, I began my first day of class with no new, cool, awesome friends that lived in my dorm hall. There were freshman orientations for students who lived on campus the weekend before classes started and commuters could attend those events too but I refused to attend those fun, inviting, probably really great events that I should have. So, back to that first semester. I knew I wanted to go Greek. I wanted to join a sorority, particularly one of the sororities on my campus that I am legacy to. I met a few cool people the first couple of weeks of school but we were just "in class" friends and nothing more. I had been dying for the day to come when I could receive a bid from my legacy sorority, run home to them, and live happily ever after. Fall 2010 recruitment came and I'm not really sure if I was shy or if I just expected to be handed this set of beautifully crafted letters but I did not put forth the effort that recruitment period. I probably wasn't ready to join a sorority even though I thought I 100% was. I came back out during Winter 2011 for recruitment. This time, it was better for me but I still had the same, common misconception that letters would just appear in front of me and life would be sunshine and daisies. While I did receive a bid to my legacy sorority I did not choose to become a PNM (potential new member) of their organization. Why? Why was this not what I thought it would be? Why did I walk away from something I had wanted so badly for so many years? What your mother doesn't tell you about going Greek is that you have to FIND your HOME. You can't base your decision off of what sorority your grandma, your mom, or your sister were in because everyone is different, weird right? I spent the rest of my freshman year and most of my summer trying to transfer to my university's rival school. When that wasn't in the cards for me, I found myself starting my second year at the same university I hated, still with no new friends. I had missed out on a lot by this point in my college career. Sure, I had been to a few parties freshman year but I was missing out on the experience of having real, true friends. So, I spent a lot of time my first semester of my second year in college visiting my friends from high school who went to other universities. Why? Because oddly enough, most of them were Greek. They were having the time of their lives with their sisters if they were in a sorority or their brothers if they were in a fraternity. They had found their homes which was something I thought I had no chance of finding at my university. Now, when I say "home" I don't mean a literal house in which you live - I mean an extension of yourself, a family, a group of people to support you no matter what. I sound like this was all about making friends but really it was about finding my place and making myself happy. Okay so, back on track, first semester of my second year. I met a girl in my 300 level creative writing class, we'll call her Marissa. Marissa was part of this local sorority I had never heard of on my campus, Kappa Tau Epsilon. Marissa was their recruitment chair and encouraged that I check KTE out the following semester. I was blind to the local sorority world because I grew up in a family of NPC (national panhellenic conference) sorority women. Before talking with Marissa, I thought local sororities were made up and not real things, like, they didn't really exist. I was completely and entirely wrong. Winter 2012, I gave it a shot and I checked it out. I went to all of the recruitment events of this local sorority. The very first girl I met when I walked into KTE's recruitment was a girl who would later become my big but we'll talk about her in a different post.

My big and I (after I already knew she was my big but we can pretend I didn't know).

 I instantly had a connection with her, a connection I cannot put in to words. After walking into the room and meeting many of the other girls that first day, I knew I had found exactly where I belonged. And so, I began my local sorority (which really isn't too different than a national sorority) journey with Kappa Tau Epsilon. Flash forward to present day - I am starting my sixth year in college and my fourth year as a sister of Kappa Tau Epsilon. I am currently KTE's recruitment chair and this is my second time serving on our executive board. I could not be happier to be such a big part of the potential new members' recruitment process. I am very excited to meet the girls coming through recruitment this fall and I'm delighted I get to experience my last Fall recruitment as recruitment chair.

KTE taking a break to be silly while preparing for Fall 2015 recruitment.

What your mother doesn't tell you about going Greek is that it is not an instant process. Sometimes it takes time and effort. You might have to try and try again before you find your home or you might click with girls of a specific chapter immediately and never look back. The point is, take a risk. Experience what is out there. Have an open mind. Take a chance. Going Greek is by far the best thing I've ever done in my life and I bet it will be the best thing you do in yours too. 

Throw What You Know Giveaway

        Every sorority throws their sign up in pictures with sisters, scenic backgrounds, and especially recruitment or bid day but did you know that their is a website called twykdecals.com? 

        Throw What You Know Decals is all about us sorority girls. They specialize in making high quality products for college sorority members! From decals, to ornaments and wine glasses, their products create the perfect, unique gift for a sister, big, or little! And if you love their products and want to get involved? Learn more about being a campus representative!
       I recently got a bunch of their products and needless to say their amazing. Their glasses are engraved with letters and their stickers are beautiful, not to mention come in Lilly Pulitzer print. I plan on putting a sticker on the back of my car and one on my laptop. You can never have enough items to represent your sorority, fraternity and the person you are.

 

Instagram TWYK pictures and make sure to tag us to get a special shout out on our Instagram! And use the code "Thankyou20" to get a discount on the site. ONLY LASTS while the giveaway is available. 

TWYK Decals ZTA Mug Giveaway TWYK Decals DZ Wine Glass Giveaway TWYK SAE Glass Giveaway

Preparing For Your Big's Graduation

One of the greatest things about joining a sorority is getting a big. I remember ecstatically waiting to see who my big would be ( I can assure you, I was not disappointed). Your big is your role model, your friend, the person who will help guide you as you enter this new and exciting world of Greek Life and, even more importantly life. So naturally, it is a difficult transition as your big's graduation date approaches.   With spring semester starting, many little's are now facing that daunting realization that there big is graduating into the big girl world.  To help ease some of the sadness, here is a list of tips to help make your last semester with your big the best one yet!

1) Hang out as much as you can. This may seem obvious but the the hustle and bustle of school it is easy to forget.

2) Start creating traditions that can go on after your big graduates.  Weather it is a weekly movie night or a monthly coffee date, have a scheduled time to be together allows you to plan ahead.

3) Take a ton of pictures. Every event, or trip to the bar, or just casual hang out sessions, document the moment. Being able to look back and be reminded of your time together, it will help easy the feeling of lost after you go from seeing them everyday to every few weeks. 

4) Speaking of pictures, plan something special to give your big for graduation, For example, with all those pictures, a scrapbook is a great graduation present! I made one for my big and she loved it!

5) Have the younger members of your sorority, especially if they are in your tree, get to know your big too. Long after your graduated your big and you will still be part of the chapter, it is important to leave some sort of impact or legacy.

So as you prepare to enter your spring semester, remember to use the opportunity to spend as much time with your big as possible, cause before you know it, you will be the big graduating and leaving her little for the many opportunities that the world has to offer.

Things to Consider when Buying Holday Gifts for Bigs and Littles

It is that time a year again. The air is cold, snow is sticking to the ground, holiday decor is everywhere, so what time is it? It is shopping time!

In my personal opinion, my favorite part of the holiday season is gift buying, I enjoy the challenge of finding the perfect gift for someone, including my big and littles.

Here is what I learned while shopping for my sorority "family"

1. Always aim to get something that fits their personality: Gifts should always make sense to who they are as person.

2. Practical isn't aways boring: sometimes the best gifts are the ones you know they will use.

3. DIY gifts are always fun: I usually buy something and make something, sometimes the hand made things are worth the most because of the time, dedication, and love that went into making it.

4. Consider the things you know they like: For example, one of my littles love to paint, so new watercolors or canvases would make a great gift.

5. Always be equal: One thing that was alway important to me was making sure everything was equal between my three littles. From initiation, to birthdays, to holidays my goal was always to get separate gifts for their personalities but of equal value.

6. Always check Pintrest, sometimes if you have an idea of what you want to make or get Pintrest is a great tool.

So with the holidays approaching, hopefully you will consider these things while shopping for you "Sorority Family".

A Letter to my Family

Sarah, Kristen, the two of you are everything that is good in the world all wrapped up into two wonderful packages. Each of you brings out the best of who I am and have helped me through the hardest of times. Two months ago today, I lost my boyfriend to a drunk driver and the two of you, whether you know it or not, you helped me through it, or else there’s a good change that I wouldn’t be still be here. You both shine so bright and in all reality, you give the sun some really good competition! The past two and a half years with the two of you have been the best two and a half years of my life. You taught me how to love and how to forgive. There have been times when I know I wasn’t the best, but I can honestly say that I’ve done my best to work through all of our problems. Sarah, two months ago, you brought the most amazing grandlittle into our family and she is absolutely perfect! Your love for her reminds me of the love that I have for you and Kristen.

Sarah: You are one of the strongest, most successful people that I know. Even when life gets you down, you still work your hardest to succeed and you always succeed without fail! You are so bright and your optimism helps me to do my best ever single day of my life.

Kristen: You’ve worked your butt off to finish with the Fire Academy and within the next few days, you’ll be graduating from the Academy while being a student, a sister, and a friend. You’re so brave and strong and I truly admire you for that!

Haley: My perfect grandlittle. Sarah is the best big that you could possibly have so be sure to let her lead you into the right direction! I know that you’re bound to do great things in this chapter! You’ve made a huge impact on me and I hope that you can say the same thing about me!

I love each of you more than I can or ever will be able to explain!

I’ll love you forever

I’ll like you for always

As long as I’m living

My Sunshine Family you’ll be.

The Odd Girl Out

Every girl has their big, right? That's what I thought too until I didn't...

I received my bid for my chapter in Spring 2012 and a week after receiving my bid, I found out who my big was. We were perfect for one another but sadly, this story didn't have a storybook ending.

When a girl first receives her big, it should be one of the best days of her life! Mine was! At first, my big and I did everything together! We would spend countless hours with one another talking about anything and everything in the world. Within eighteen months, that all went south. Sadly, what I thought was going to be the best relationship of my life suddenly turned poisonous.

It's been a year since the disaffiliation of my former big and it's been somewhat difficult on me. To say that I miss having a role model and mentor is an understatement. I was never the girl who had her big as her biggest fan and that's what truly upsets me.

Every time we get a new member class and bigs reveal themselves to their little, I want to stress the importance of the big/little relationship.

For most people, it's far too late to decide if they want a little but if you do COB (continuous open bidding) then you may find yourself with the option to take a little or not.

If you're going to take a little, take the time to think about the responsibility that comes with the relationship that you're wanting to form. Are you prepared to take on a little? Are you ready to become a role model and help them succeed within your chapter? Are you ready to help a little with their problems both inside and out of your chapter?

If you said no to any of these questions then by all means, please don't take one if you aren't ready. If you are ready, then good luck to you!

Being the Bridesmaid,

     My bestest most fabulous "Fig" or fake Big from my sorority got married in August. I was fortunate to be asked to be apart of her wedding! I couldn't have been more happy to be apart of  such a memorable occasion. Boy let me tell ya, it wasn't half of what I expected being my first out of the family wedding, but not in a bad way.

      She has been my right hand woman, my best friend, my confidant, the person I could tell pretty much anything for. Bekka was like my person at school that always got me, knew how to make me laugh, calm me down, and tell me when I was being stupid. I miss her to pieces not being here at school but I know she has helped make me the mature person I am today at school, and maybe helped me love animals a little more.. not a big fan they freak me out.

      Like Bekka always does surprise me she asked me to be a bridesmaid, but not in the good old Pintrest kinda way... but the Snapchat kinda way. I also missed it the first time I had to replay it, then I cried, then I called her! Couldn't have been happier and more surprised.

      A few months later me, the bridesmaids, friends, and sorority sisters took on Philly for her Bachelorette party. Needless to say, we had a wild, memorable, and interesting time taking on the city of brotherly love. 
       The wedding came quicker than ever. Bekka made the most beautiful bride, and Nick was a handsome groom. They make the most perfect couple I have ever seen and I truly admire their love. They make me aspire to find a love like theirs. It doesn't come around often, but they make me hope to find it. Being at the wedding Bekka, Kerri, other sisters and I were all able to reunite and come together to help celebrate the very happy wedding. I wouldn't trade this experience for the world. 






       Bekka, thank you for stepping in and being such a great Fig/ Big to me. If it wasn't for you I would be so lost in many things especially Biology. You are one of the sweetest, kindest, most perfect people I have ever met. I know you and Nick are going to be so happy. I really can't wait til I see you next. I wish you lived closer but know I am never too far, thank God for cell phones. I love you to the moon and back! LITP <3

Recruitment Videos

     I think it is safe to say that we all have fun making our own sorority videos with our sisters, but lets admit it although they are completely adorable they are quite cheesy.  I am obsessed with the one we made for our recruitment but I am pretty sure every sorority on my campus did the whole "lets build a pyramid then fall out of it" as well as dancing and celebrating with sisters. 
     On the other hand is being a part of a sorority isn't all about the looks and all of the great pictures we take? I myself am a picture fanatic but lets be real, as sorority women we pride ourselves on our philanthropy, our history, GPA, our sisterhood, and maybe Greek Week. Yes yes yes we know that may seem a tad dull walking through that in a video but I think these boys of Phi Kappa Psi have a great way of proving what our video may look like to people on the outside of Greek Life. What do you think? 

A letter to my Big

Dear Big,

      It’s almost Big/Little week and I am about to take a little of my own. A year ago I would have honestly never had thought that I could make a good big sister and be a good mentor, but you changed all of that. You are the best big I could ever ask for. I’ve always been able to come to you, and I’ve always been able to count on you. I remember jumping in your box at reveal so overcome with pure joy that I finally got you as a big that I just didn’t care. That feeling still continues, I am still so proud to have you as my big because you are one of the best people I know. You always think of others and often show kindness to people even if they don’t deserve it. I have never once seen you be disrespectful to someone and you treat everyone well. I know you have had to deal with a lot having me as your little from picking me up at parties, to listening to me rant, to intervening when a boy upset me. You weren’t always happy with me or my decisions but you were always there to help get me back on track.

         I look around at other big/little pairs and I know that we have one of the best bonds out there. The mutual admiration we have for each other is one of the best parts of our relationship; we accept our differences and make each other better. If I could do it again, I would do it the same. No matter what has happened there is no one else that I would want to be my mentor and my most trusted friend. You have given me so much and I hope that I am able to be half of the big that you are to me to my new little. I love you to the crescent moon and back Kesha.

                                      Love,

                                    Your Little 

A reflection on Big/Little

Admist all the shopping, crafting, and trickery that is Big/Little we often forget what it really means to become a Big. It's not just crafting, and putting together baskets, it's being a mentor to a girl who saw something in you that she wanted to be. Being a Big is more than just being her best friend. You are there to guide her through college and sorority life. She will do what you do. So the question is do you want your little to be involved in the chapter?, do you want her to keep up her grades?, if so are you doing those things yourself? You have an awesome oppurtunity to make a difference in this girls life, to help her grow. Take it seriously be her cheerleader, and her constant shoulder to lean on. She's going to need you a lot. Make sure your there for her after the excitment of Big/Little has ended because you always want her to say "I have the best big ever." Congratulations to all of you taking littles! You are going to make wonderful Bigs, those girls are lucky to have you!

Little Lovin'

Now that recruitment is winding down for most everyone,  it's time to talk about what most sisters look forward to at this time of the year: getting a little. I, myself, have had four littles in my time in Phi Sig, six if you include my two adopted littles. My first fall recruitment in, I got a set of twins and they have been there for me through the entire time. I have also had two other littles, one who disaffiliated and one who disassociated during her new member period. Though it's hard to lose a little, it's always great to know that I have two biological littles who have stuck by my side no matter what. 

Two years ago, I received the best gift I could have ever gotten when I came into Phi Sig. Their names are Kristen and Sarah and they are the two girls that make my world go 'round. They were my first littles and my only set of twins that I've gotten. I remember their revealment like it was yesterday. Our sisterhood development chair (SDC) had us decorate large boxes according to us and our personality (large enough for us to fit inside) and our littles had to go up to the box that they thought their big was in. Not only did they both know that it was me inside of my box, but they knew that they were twins. From inside of my box, my heart raced. I could hear my sisters outside of the box saying, "aww" and "they're holding hands! They know they're twins" or "Are you sure that you're twins" or "Are you certain this is your big?" They answered all of the questions with one simple answer "We're absolutely certain!" On the count of three, our SDC had us pop out and both of my twins gave me the biggest hugs imaginable. I cried and I'm not even ashamed to say that I did so. 

During this last recruitment recruitment, I was honored to be able to give the senior speech during our preference round. The following is an excerpt from that speech: 

"While I don’t have my own big sapphire, I do have my twin little sapphires and they are the most beautiful women that I know. They are my rocks. I’ve taught them a lot and in turn, they’ve also taught me a lot. They’ve been there through all of it with me and we’ve truly grown together. Everything that’s good in the world is what dwells inside of their souls. I’m proud of them and I know they’ll go on to do great things both inside and out of this chapter."

I could honestly go on for days about how proud the two of them make me. Sarah has taken on leadership roles within the chapter and Kristen is currently in the process of becoming a firefighter! I don't have a single word to describe the two of them or the joy they have brought me. They truly do have everything good in the world wrapped up inside of them! 

As you all consider getting your littles, remember that they deserve love and to be treated with respect. Remember that littles aren't "babies" they're our equals. Just like anyone else, they deserve our love and affection! It's time to spoil them, beauties! Remember when you got your big? That's what all of the new members are looking forward to! 

Fall 2012 Revealment. Kristen,  me,  and Sarah.