Six Years of Freedom and Happiness

This past Sunday, I officially celebrated six years with my now fiancé (AJ).

To me, this is yet another major achievement for us as a couple. To me, it has been six amazing years with a man I truly love.

However this achievement also made think about our relationship and how my past still affects us as a couple, even six years later.

As some of you may know, or have read in my first blog post), I not only grew up in a abusive household, I am also a "survivor" of sexual abuse.

While I am proud of where I have ended up despite the horror of 10 years of that specific kind of abuse, I can't help but sometimes notice, how should I word this, the results from that kind of abuse?

For example; I will be the first to admit that I can be insecure, I sometimes need to be reassured that I am loved despite the fact that I know I am, I can also be very immature when others begin talking about sex, even when it is just in a joking nature, it always makes me slightly uncomfortable, and I hate silence, it makes me feel like something is wrong.

I see these traits as side- effects of living in an abusive household and while they are still there I have seen such improvement in that short amount of time.

I also seen some examples of amazing strength in myself, I see these to be the most valuable things I have, despite living in that situation, I still am an good person. For example, I have the ability to be compassionate, to still see the good in others, I also believe in myself and know I can achieve all that I want to make happen. I also believe in myself to the point that I won't settle for less that what I want in life. 

Overall, I am so happy to be continuing this amazing journey with the man I love. In addition, I am excited to continue to grow stronger and stronger as I continue my life in healthy environment.