Having More Than One Little

With the fall semester quickly approaching, it's that time of year again. Yes, school is starting and that's just dreadful exciting but that also means recruitment is right around the corner. With recruitment comes PNMs and with PNMs comes the potential for new littles. Perhaps this is your time to shine and take one of these new girls under your wing to become their big sister or maybe you've been an active member of your organization for a while and have had the opportunity to take more than one little. Whatever the case may be, sharing the experience of your sorority (or fraternity) with your little is so special and it is a relationship that should not be taken lightly. I have one actual little sister, Little J, who is an initiated member of my sorority and I cherish our relationship to no end. 

Little J and I at her initiation (as seen on TSM).

I also have five other individuals who are very much like littles to me, I call them my "unofficial littles". They're equally as important and I try my best to make sure I'm always there to support them. Each one of them incorporates a unique piece to my puzzle that I call life. To put it in simple terms that might help you understand, they're like my adopted children and their Greek affiliation (or lack of Greek affiliation) does not matter to me because I'll be there for them for life. Maybe you've been in a similar circumstance or maybe you share your big with another person and are having a difficult time adjusting. So, without further ado, here are a few key points I've put together of what you should and should not do if you have a little, multiple littles, or if you're considering taking a little in the future.

You Should: Have group dates. Make your littles hang out with each other because, let's face it, you'll probably graduate before any of them and be off into the real world before they know it. Having those family bonds solidified before you graduate makes the transition much easier for everyone involved. Plus, it's always nice to have someone in your corner if your big is not around. 

You Should: Treat them equally. No one likes to feel left out so even if your connection with one little is stronger than it is with your other little(s), always make an effort to show them you care.

Different Day. Different Little. Different Leggings. Same Pose.

You Should: Celebrate their accomplishments! Little one got a new car, little two got a new puppy, little three killed their internship interview. No matter how big or small these events are, they're important to your little. Let them know that you're thinking about them! 

You Should: Make a fun family name or give each little a nickname. Like I mentioned, I have acquired a small family of littles. We are the Nugget Family, not like chicken nuggets, but somehow that's the association that's transpired. So, as a result, they're my little pack of nugs. We even have our own secret Facebook group for easy communication but we'll pretend like I didn't just spill the beans with that one. 

Some of the Nugget Family at a tailgate event.

You Should: Take note of how each little reacts in a troubling situation or when dealing with stress and anxiety. Some people love to be hugged and soothed during times like these when others just need a pat on the back and an ice cream cone. Know how to help your little through these tough times. 

You Should Not: Favor one little over another. Yes, of course, sometimes you can't control the connection you have with someone but don't let it show. Always, always, always try to remain neutral. 

You Should Not: Forget the important dates in your littles' lives. Birthdays, anniversaries, milestones - write them down for yourself so you can always send some love their way on these special days.

You Should Not: Let too much time pass in between hanging out or catching up. Obviously, it's hard to coordinate with multiple schedules especially when you have a busy schedule of your own. However, you're never too busy to shoot your littles individual texts or messages to let them know you're thinking about them. 

You Should Not: Disown your little. Every so often, people who share a very close bond get annoyed with each other and feel that it's necessary to push back. Try not to do this, especially with your little. It's okay to have disagreements but mend those ties as soon as possible. Even if your little irritates you and you find yourself filled with negative emotions, always make an effort to mend the relationship. Your little is like your child and you have assumed the role of a parent - remember that always. Your little is yours for life not just for four years. 

Twinning with Little J.

If you have one little or twenty littles, your little looks up to you probably more than you realize. In many cases, you're the one that drives their passion for your organization or Greek Life and you give them the tools necessary for being an incredible big one day too. Aside from that, they learn from you. You indirectly teach them, hopefully, the right ways to navigate college and they usually keep you on your toes. The best way to summarize this would be to say, treat your little(s) how you would want to be treated. Best of luck this Fall if you're searching for your first, second, or even your third little. Whatever number you're on, having a little is always an awesome experience. 

What's your favorite memory with your big or little? Comment below and let us know! 

What Your Mother Doesn't Tell You About: Going Greek

What Your Mother Doesn't Tell You About: Going Greek

You've seen it on TV. You've read about it in magazines. You've probably even seen these people on your college campus. You guessed it, I'm talking about the men and women of Greek Life. The leaders, scholars, philanthropists, and friends who make your college experience one worth living. Let me take you back to the first week of your freshman year in college, that was five years ago for me. You probably lived on campus, went to freshman orientation, and met some pretty cool people called your roommates. You might have even lived with your bestie from high school. My first week of freshman year was literally the worst week of my life. I go to a university that is less than 30 minutes away from my hometown. So, naturally, I thought commuting from home would be way better than living on campus because there would be so much more room for activities at my house (step brothers? get it? anyone?). Anyway, I began my first day of class with no new, cool, awesome friends that lived in my dorm hall. There were freshman orientations for students who lived on campus the weekend before classes started and commuters could attend those events too but I refused to attend those fun, inviting, probably really great events that I should have. So, back to that first semester. I knew I wanted to go Greek. I wanted to join a sorority, particularly one of the sororities on my campus that I am legacy to. I met a few cool people the first couple of weeks of school but we were just "in class" friends and nothing more. I had been dying for the day to come when I could receive a bid from my legacy sorority, run home to them, and live happily ever after. Fall 2010 recruitment came and I'm not really sure if I was shy or if I just expected to be handed this set of beautifully crafted letters but I did not put forth the effort that recruitment period. I probably wasn't ready to join a sorority even though I thought I 100% was. I came back out during Winter 2011 for recruitment. This time, it was better for me but I still had the same, common misconception that letters would just appear in front of me and life would be sunshine and daisies. While I did receive a bid to my legacy sorority I did not choose to become a PNM (potential new member) of their organization. Why? Why was this not what I thought it would be? Why did I walk away from something I had wanted so badly for so many years? What your mother doesn't tell you about going Greek is that you have to FIND your HOME. You can't base your decision off of what sorority your grandma, your mom, or your sister were in because everyone is different, weird right? I spent the rest of my freshman year and most of my summer trying to transfer to my university's rival school. When that wasn't in the cards for me, I found myself starting my second year at the same university I hated, still with no new friends. I had missed out on a lot by this point in my college career. Sure, I had been to a few parties freshman year but I was missing out on the experience of having real, true friends. So, I spent a lot of time my first semester of my second year in college visiting my friends from high school who went to other universities. Why? Because oddly enough, most of them were Greek. They were having the time of their lives with their sisters if they were in a sorority or their brothers if they were in a fraternity. They had found their homes which was something I thought I had no chance of finding at my university. Now, when I say "home" I don't mean a literal house in which you live - I mean an extension of yourself, a family, a group of people to support you no matter what. I sound like this was all about making friends but really it was about finding my place and making myself happy. Okay so, back on track, first semester of my second year. I met a girl in my 300 level creative writing class, we'll call her Marissa. Marissa was part of this local sorority I had never heard of on my campus, Kappa Tau Epsilon. Marissa was their recruitment chair and encouraged that I check KTE out the following semester. I was blind to the local sorority world because I grew up in a family of NPC (national panhellenic conference) sorority women. Before talking with Marissa, I thought local sororities were made up and not real things, like, they didn't really exist. I was completely and entirely wrong. Winter 2012, I gave it a shot and I checked it out. I went to all of the recruitment events of this local sorority. The very first girl I met when I walked into KTE's recruitment was a girl who would later become my big but we'll talk about her in a different post.

My big and I (after I already knew she was my big but we can pretend I didn't know).

 I instantly had a connection with her, a connection I cannot put in to words. After walking into the room and meeting many of the other girls that first day, I knew I had found exactly where I belonged. And so, I began my local sorority (which really isn't too different than a national sorority) journey with Kappa Tau Epsilon. Flash forward to present day - I am starting my sixth year in college and my fourth year as a sister of Kappa Tau Epsilon. I am currently KTE's recruitment chair and this is my second time serving on our executive board. I could not be happier to be such a big part of the potential new members' recruitment process. I am very excited to meet the girls coming through recruitment this fall and I'm delighted I get to experience my last Fall recruitment as recruitment chair.

KTE taking a break to be silly while preparing for Fall 2015 recruitment.

What your mother doesn't tell you about going Greek is that it is not an instant process. Sometimes it takes time and effort. You might have to try and try again before you find your home or you might click with girls of a specific chapter immediately and never look back. The point is, take a risk. Experience what is out there. Have an open mind. Take a chance. Going Greek is by far the best thing I've ever done in my life and I bet it will be the best thing you do in yours too. 

Turning 21, A Self-Reflection of the Past

My 21^st birthday is quickly approaching and it’s extremely weird to say the least. Where has the time gone? Seriously?! Just yesterday I remember elementary school, cheerleading in middle school, and the difficulty of high school. College has by far been the greatest years of my life, I’m finally coming into my own, have found amazing friendships, and have grown my relationships within my family in an amazing way. The older you get, clearly you get more mature [well let’s at least hope so for some of us] but I know I’ve definitely changed even in the time between high school and college. College has definitely made me a better person, and I have my sorority to thank for a lot of it.

            I want to take the opportunity to name everything that I’m grateful for since I have a newfound love for self reflection and what better time to do it than approaching my 21^st?

            I’m first and foremost thankful for my family, my brothers, my parents, and my dogs. I’m so blessed to have such a close-knit family where we can laugh about anything and everything. I’m lucky to live where I live, have what I have, and most of all have caring family members that I can rely on for everything. My relationships with family have gotten nothing but stronger, and for those of you out there having rough patches with parents or siblings, time is your friend. As you mature and grow so does everyone else, and college definitely helps you appreciate family and the moments you spend together so much more.

            I’m thankful and appreciative of my friendships. Those before and after college, I’ve had amazing memories and experiences with them. From travelling to Europe, to Disney, and just stupid silly road trips we’ve gone on has made me so happy. I’m happy that I’ve stayed friends with those who meant the most to me before college, and I’m appreciative of the friendships I’ve rekindled or come in contact with again even if they’re not exactly the same as they were before, I’m still grateful for the friendship.

            I cannot be more grateful for my sorority sisters, and the love and craziness that they bring into my life. My big is my best friend, I have amazing rosebuds, and the best friends I could ever ask for. I know that whenever there’s someone I need I call or text them first and they’re always there to help me or to simply just hang out and eat Chinese. I’m also grateful for the opportunities it’s provided me with, to take on positions such as PR Chair, and to get more involved in community service than I ever have before.

            I’m grateful for my roommate. We’ve never been close before this year, but it’s safe to say that she’s one of my best friends and an amazing sorority sister. Our friendship is one that I appreciate because we can be our truest selves, we act like complete idiots and have the greatest heart to hearts I could ever ask for. She’s always there for me and a great person to annoy haha. We’ve grown so close and I couldn’t be more grateful.

            I’m grateful for the opportunities that have arisen for me, like starting a blog that has quickly become successful, becoming a writer on Sorority Girl Thoughts, and putting myself out there in the performing world. I’m so grateful to have finally found where I want my life to go as far as career path, and am proud of myself for rolling with the punches. All my life I thought I would go into one specific career but I’m proud of myself for realizing that maybe what I want to do is something else and becoming okay with it. I’m excited to realize that I want to go in a journalism, magazine, writing route and I’m proud of myself for figuring it out. I’ve performed recently for the first time in a while too, in a cabaret which would have never been an opportunity without my sorority so I am so excited to have pushed myself to perform and sing again.

            Lastly, even though there are so many things I am grateful for and could go on and on, I’m thankful for school. Although the work and classes are a hassle, it has brought me closer to my career, to new friendships, and an organization that I could never see my life without. College has brought me so much happiness and I’m happy I was able to adjust and enjoy it.

            As 21 approaches I’m scared but excited. Life has so much more to offer but I’m extremely grateful to have had the experiences I’ve had since they’ve shaped me into my [quickly approaching] 21 year old self. It’s ok to look forward, and I know so many people can’t wait to turn 21 but I’m okay with enjoying life as it comes and not worrying about the next best thing.

            Goodbye 20 year old me it’s been great, and I welcome 21 year old me with an open mind and heart.