What Your Mother Doesn't Tell You About: Balancing Life In College

So, here we are again, the first week of the semester or close to it (commonly known as syllabus week). Everything seems to be just fine. You're sitting in class listening to your professor talk while thinking "oh, this is going to be a piece of cake I can totally procrastinate as much as possible in this class and not study much or at all for these exams." Or, maybe, if you have really hard classes like Nuclear Engineering you're thinking "Shoot. Shoot. I am so done for. Bye social life. Bye friends. Bye to myself. RIP to my soul!" What your mother doesn't tell you about balancing life in college is that it's actually really difficult at times.The bottom line is it's all about balance. 

Cougar Fam dinner - note how my big and I accidentally match

If you're Greek or if you're not Greek, being successful is still all about balancing your social life, your academic life, and your personal life. You can, in fact, have a pleasant mix of all three. I have held a full time or close to full time position throughout my long, extended stay in college while being an active member of my sorority and trying my best to get good grades. It's not easy by any means but it's worth it. I struggled very hard my freshman year finding my balance between working arguably a lot for an 18 year old and attending college full time. My grades suffered, I was really unhappy, and I was unsure of how to make a positive change. For me, that positive change was finally going Greek. Because of the requirements of the sorority I joined, I was responsible for maintaining a specific GPA and completing study hours on a weekly basis with my sisters. I learned how to manage my time wisely and become a better, more rounded version of myself. I became a successful college student because I was serious about remaining an active member of my sorority. To be honest, college is rough when you can't find a way to balance everything you're juggling.

I've made a list of my tips for balancing your college life, specifically when you're part of a Greek organization:

1. Take time for yourself.
Take a minute to breath. It's okay if you take a 30 minute nap or turn your phone off for an hour to unwind. You are the most important part of your life and you need to treat yourself as such. Trying to do a million things at once breaks a person down from the inside out and when you're trying to be successful that's not a good formula.

2. Set aside time to study.
Studying is not fun I'll be the first to admit that. It's like flossing your teeth (I actually like that but I guess many people do not...) you have to do it or your dentist will remind you that your teeth are not receiving the proper care. You'll ultimately feel guilty because you know it only takes a few seconds every day. Of course, studying takes more than a few seconds which is unfortunate but setting aside a minimum of 30 minutes every day at least four days a week to review class material will really help you when it comes time to cram for exams.

3. Exercise.
Exercising is so helpful for your body and mind. I don't care if you run eight miles a day, take your dog for a walk, take a Zumba class once a week with your sisters, or if you do a workout routine at home - get moving. When you feel better about yourself you have the ability to excel. You'll be more confident, your endorphin levels will go through the roof, and you'll be an all around happier person. Plus, if you focus on at least 30 minutes of exercise a couple of times a week, you'll help combat the drunken late night Taco Bell quesadilla that you'll probably eat during the weekend.

4. Do your homework.
Like Nike said, Just Do It! It sounds silly to say this, I know, but even if your assignment is the dumbest thing you've ever had to do in your life, just do it. You'll probably get points for it and those points might come back to save you if you don't do so well on an exam.

5. Pick one night per weekend to go out.
I know it's hard. Sigma Pi is having a themed party Friday night, Alpha Xi Delta is having a philanthropy event Friday afternoon, Sigma Kappa is having a pancake breakfast fundraiser Saturday morning, Alpha Tau Omega has a slide 'n slide at their house to raise money for a local charity Saturday afternoon, etc etc etc... You. Are. Busy. Greek Life is busy. You unfortunately have to pick and choose what events you're going to go to. It's not easy because of course you want to support your fellow Greeks in whatever it is that they're doing but you cannot be in multiple places at once (it's 2015, why not?). To be successful, pick one night per weekend to go out and if you get your homework/projects/papers taken care of in a timely manner then by all means, enjoy yourself.

Tailgate on Saturday, Study on Sunday

6. Find a job with flexibility.
I have been so fortunate throughout my college career because I work at an office that's open 9-5 Monday-Friday and I have the ability to come and go as I please as long as I get my work done. Other than that, I work for companies remotely aka online from where ever I am. This makes scheduling classes so much easier if a class I need is not offered at night. Not everyone has that luxury though and some have to work all weekend long in order to make ends meet so that they're able to take their required classes. If you can, find a job that makes you happy but also one that is flexible. Having a boss that understands college is actually really hard to do if you have to work your way through it takes a huge weight off your shoulders.

7. Buy a planner.
This works for most everyone in college. Between socials, mixers, events, homework, projects, exams, work, birthdays, etc... you need something to keep yourself on track. If you like to have a physical planner in hand to write in I recommend buying one with enough space to write your list of duties for each day out. If you're not a fan of having to carry around a planner, head over to the app store and download a day planner. This will save your life more than once. I promise.

Erin or Lilly? The eternal question.

8. Get involved.
But, Kaitlyn, wait a minute - how can I get more involved if I have a ton of things to do already? How does that benefit me? It helps you more than you know. You'll meet people in organizations outside of Greek Life aka more people that can help you in your classes and people you can form study groups with. Plus, who doesn't like getting to know more people? It's a great feeling to walk anywhere on your campus and be greeted with a warm wave or a "hey how's it goin'!?"

9. Take advantage of your chapter's scholarship requirements.
If you're like me, you have to complete a certain amount of study hours per semester. Like, you physically have to go to the library and do your work. Some people might think this sounds strange or a bit juvenile but when you really think about it, what are we all in college for? To do well in our classes and get the heck out of there with a degree in hand. If you're given a required amount of hours to complete per semester, you're going to do them. You're going to be in the library with your sisters or friends or by yourself if that's your thing and you're going to be studying/doing homework. Sit back and watch your GPA sky rocket.

10. Ask for help.
If you can't do everything all on your own, ask for help. It's okay to ask for assistance when you need it. Hello, we're only human. We have bad days where our hair looks like a rat's nest, our favorite Lilly Pulitzer tumbler falls on the ground and breaks, and our allotted print balance for the semester reads $0.00 meaning we have to pay per sheet to print. If you need help, never be afraid to ask. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness and that is the key point to remember.

Enjoy your first few weeks of class and remember these helpful tips for a balanced life.

Five Things You Should Thank Your College Best Friend For

As some of you may know, I am the Greek Life Blogger for Sorority Girl Thoughts. So, you're probably asking yourself, "How does thanking your college best friend play into Greek Life? That doesn't make sense..." and that, my friends, is where I begin my story. Your college best friends, not to be confused with your high school best friends because those people are incredibly important too, but your college best friends have most definitely seen it all. They've been with you through some of your most stressful and most exciting times in your young adult life. They've witnessed you change from a weird little freshman to the confident, leader you are today. My college best friendships all blossomed from being part of Greek Life. If I would have never joined a sorority, specifically my sorority, I would have never become such great friends with these people and my life would be entirely different. Oddly enough, one of the best friends I've ever had is from the same city that I am. We went to rival high schools and never met each other until we were in college, both in the same sorority. More times than not, I forget to thank my college best friends for all they have done for me through good times and bad. Maybe you lived with your college best friend or maybe your college best friend is someone you never thought in a million years you would be friends with. Whatever your case may be, here's a little list of things I feel are very important to thank your college bff for.

Look at the beauty that is my bff and ignore my strange choice of bat necklace accessory. 

1. Thank them for the times they went out of their way just to see you smile. I cannot tell you how important simple acts of kindness are in times of need. If it's stress from finals week, a break up, failing a class, losing a job, or just trying to juggle too much all at once - your college best friend is always there for you because, chances are, they understand your pain. 

2. Thank them for the times they were your biggest fan or biggest support system when you felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders. You probably didn't even realize that they were giving you the support you needed or maybe you did. Regardless, your college best friend noticed you struggling to do all that you tried (and probably succeeded at) accomplishing. They took the initiative to give you an extra ounce of courage to motivate you just enough to get the job done. 

#TBT to that wonderful time when KTE and TKE were paired for Greek Week 2014

3. Thank them for the nights when you wanted to stay in but they made you go out with them anyway. Honestly, you probably had so much fun you completely forgot about the hours you wanted to spend binge watching netflix with no pants on while eating macaroni and cheese from the pan skinny pop popcorn. Thank your best friend for helping you show the real world that you're one hot piece of sass and a heck of a good time too! 

Spontaneous, unofficial Summer mixer with the gents of Kappa Sigma. (NOTE: everyone is of age)

4. Thank them for knowing your order at Starbs, Chipotle (or Qdoba for the Queso Lovers), Jimmy Johns, all-time favorite snack, or for simply knowing your favorite flavor of Gatorade. The fact that your bestie knows and remembers these specific details about you and can easily save you from mid-day hanger, starvation, or the worst hangover known to mankind, deserves an award all on its own.

Some of the best pledge sisters a girl could ask for.

5. Thank them for sticking by your side. It's not always easy, we all know that. Sometimes you're difficult or moody and sometimes your college bff is too. Friends come and go for one reason or another. Fights happen. Distance happens especially with this thing called "growing up and moving away". But really though, was there a class on that topic because I sure wasn't prepared for it to start happening. Thank your college best friend for always, no matter what, being there for you to give you a laugh, a hug, a snap back to reality (oh, there goes gravity), or whatever you need to get you through the day. At this point in life, real friends are so precious and hard to come by.

My big and I color coordinating per usual.

If your college best friends have all gone their separate ways or if you're still making enough memories to last you a life time, don't forget to take a moment to thank them for all they've done for you. 

What is your favorite memory with your college best friend? Let us know in the comments below!

Having More Than One Little

With the fall semester quickly approaching, it's that time of year again. Yes, school is starting and that's just dreadful exciting but that also means recruitment is right around the corner. With recruitment comes PNMs and with PNMs comes the potential for new littles. Perhaps this is your time to shine and take one of these new girls under your wing to become their big sister or maybe you've been an active member of your organization for a while and have had the opportunity to take more than one little. Whatever the case may be, sharing the experience of your sorority (or fraternity) with your little is so special and it is a relationship that should not be taken lightly. I have one actual little sister, Little J, who is an initiated member of my sorority and I cherish our relationship to no end. 

Little J and I at her initiation (as seen on TSM).

I also have five other individuals who are very much like littles to me, I call them my "unofficial littles". They're equally as important and I try my best to make sure I'm always there to support them. Each one of them incorporates a unique piece to my puzzle that I call life. To put it in simple terms that might help you understand, they're like my adopted children and their Greek affiliation (or lack of Greek affiliation) does not matter to me because I'll be there for them for life. Maybe you've been in a similar circumstance or maybe you share your big with another person and are having a difficult time adjusting. So, without further ado, here are a few key points I've put together of what you should and should not do if you have a little, multiple littles, or if you're considering taking a little in the future.

You Should: Have group dates. Make your littles hang out with each other because, let's face it, you'll probably graduate before any of them and be off into the real world before they know it. Having those family bonds solidified before you graduate makes the transition much easier for everyone involved. Plus, it's always nice to have someone in your corner if your big is not around. 

You Should: Treat them equally. No one likes to feel left out so even if your connection with one little is stronger than it is with your other little(s), always make an effort to show them you care.

Different Day. Different Little. Different Leggings. Same Pose.

You Should: Celebrate their accomplishments! Little one got a new car, little two got a new puppy, little three killed their internship interview. No matter how big or small these events are, they're important to your little. Let them know that you're thinking about them! 

You Should: Make a fun family name or give each little a nickname. Like I mentioned, I have acquired a small family of littles. We are the Nugget Family, not like chicken nuggets, but somehow that's the association that's transpired. So, as a result, they're my little pack of nugs. We even have our own secret Facebook group for easy communication but we'll pretend like I didn't just spill the beans with that one. 

Some of the Nugget Family at a tailgate event.

You Should: Take note of how each little reacts in a troubling situation or when dealing with stress and anxiety. Some people love to be hugged and soothed during times like these when others just need a pat on the back and an ice cream cone. Know how to help your little through these tough times. 

You Should Not: Favor one little over another. Yes, of course, sometimes you can't control the connection you have with someone but don't let it show. Always, always, always try to remain neutral. 

You Should Not: Forget the important dates in your littles' lives. Birthdays, anniversaries, milestones - write them down for yourself so you can always send some love their way on these special days.

You Should Not: Let too much time pass in between hanging out or catching up. Obviously, it's hard to coordinate with multiple schedules especially when you have a busy schedule of your own. However, you're never too busy to shoot your littles individual texts or messages to let them know you're thinking about them. 

You Should Not: Disown your little. Every so often, people who share a very close bond get annoyed with each other and feel that it's necessary to push back. Try not to do this, especially with your little. It's okay to have disagreements but mend those ties as soon as possible. Even if your little irritates you and you find yourself filled with negative emotions, always make an effort to mend the relationship. Your little is like your child and you have assumed the role of a parent - remember that always. Your little is yours for life not just for four years. 

Twinning with Little J.

If you have one little or twenty littles, your little looks up to you probably more than you realize. In many cases, you're the one that drives their passion for your organization or Greek Life and you give them the tools necessary for being an incredible big one day too. Aside from that, they learn from you. You indirectly teach them, hopefully, the right ways to navigate college and they usually keep you on your toes. The best way to summarize this would be to say, treat your little(s) how you would want to be treated. Best of luck this Fall if you're searching for your first, second, or even your third little. Whatever number you're on, having a little is always an awesome experience. 

What's your favorite memory with your big or little? Comment below and let us know! 

What Your Mother Doesn't Tell You About: Going Greek

What Your Mother Doesn't Tell You About: Going Greek

You've seen it on TV. You've read about it in magazines. You've probably even seen these people on your college campus. You guessed it, I'm talking about the men and women of Greek Life. The leaders, scholars, philanthropists, and friends who make your college experience one worth living. Let me take you back to the first week of your freshman year in college, that was five years ago for me. You probably lived on campus, went to freshman orientation, and met some pretty cool people called your roommates. You might have even lived with your bestie from high school. My first week of freshman year was literally the worst week of my life. I go to a university that is less than 30 minutes away from my hometown. So, naturally, I thought commuting from home would be way better than living on campus because there would be so much more room for activities at my house (step brothers? get it? anyone?). Anyway, I began my first day of class with no new, cool, awesome friends that lived in my dorm hall. There were freshman orientations for students who lived on campus the weekend before classes started and commuters could attend those events too but I refused to attend those fun, inviting, probably really great events that I should have. So, back to that first semester. I knew I wanted to go Greek. I wanted to join a sorority, particularly one of the sororities on my campus that I am legacy to. I met a few cool people the first couple of weeks of school but we were just "in class" friends and nothing more. I had been dying for the day to come when I could receive a bid from my legacy sorority, run home to them, and live happily ever after. Fall 2010 recruitment came and I'm not really sure if I was shy or if I just expected to be handed this set of beautifully crafted letters but I did not put forth the effort that recruitment period. I probably wasn't ready to join a sorority even though I thought I 100% was. I came back out during Winter 2011 for recruitment. This time, it was better for me but I still had the same, common misconception that letters would just appear in front of me and life would be sunshine and daisies. While I did receive a bid to my legacy sorority I did not choose to become a PNM (potential new member) of their organization. Why? Why was this not what I thought it would be? Why did I walk away from something I had wanted so badly for so many years? What your mother doesn't tell you about going Greek is that you have to FIND your HOME. You can't base your decision off of what sorority your grandma, your mom, or your sister were in because everyone is different, weird right? I spent the rest of my freshman year and most of my summer trying to transfer to my university's rival school. When that wasn't in the cards for me, I found myself starting my second year at the same university I hated, still with no new friends. I had missed out on a lot by this point in my college career. Sure, I had been to a few parties freshman year but I was missing out on the experience of having real, true friends. So, I spent a lot of time my first semester of my second year in college visiting my friends from high school who went to other universities. Why? Because oddly enough, most of them were Greek. They were having the time of their lives with their sisters if they were in a sorority or their brothers if they were in a fraternity. They had found their homes which was something I thought I had no chance of finding at my university. Now, when I say "home" I don't mean a literal house in which you live - I mean an extension of yourself, a family, a group of people to support you no matter what. I sound like this was all about making friends but really it was about finding my place and making myself happy. Okay so, back on track, first semester of my second year. I met a girl in my 300 level creative writing class, we'll call her Marissa. Marissa was part of this local sorority I had never heard of on my campus, Kappa Tau Epsilon. Marissa was their recruitment chair and encouraged that I check KTE out the following semester. I was blind to the local sorority world because I grew up in a family of NPC (national panhellenic conference) sorority women. Before talking with Marissa, I thought local sororities were made up and not real things, like, they didn't really exist. I was completely and entirely wrong. Winter 2012, I gave it a shot and I checked it out. I went to all of the recruitment events of this local sorority. The very first girl I met when I walked into KTE's recruitment was a girl who would later become my big but we'll talk about her in a different post.

My big and I (after I already knew she was my big but we can pretend I didn't know).

 I instantly had a connection with her, a connection I cannot put in to words. After walking into the room and meeting many of the other girls that first day, I knew I had found exactly where I belonged. And so, I began my local sorority (which really isn't too different than a national sorority) journey with Kappa Tau Epsilon. Flash forward to present day - I am starting my sixth year in college and my fourth year as a sister of Kappa Tau Epsilon. I am currently KTE's recruitment chair and this is my second time serving on our executive board. I could not be happier to be such a big part of the potential new members' recruitment process. I am very excited to meet the girls coming through recruitment this fall and I'm delighted I get to experience my last Fall recruitment as recruitment chair.

KTE taking a break to be silly while preparing for Fall 2015 recruitment.

What your mother doesn't tell you about going Greek is that it is not an instant process. Sometimes it takes time and effort. You might have to try and try again before you find your home or you might click with girls of a specific chapter immediately and never look back. The point is, take a risk. Experience what is out there. Have an open mind. Take a chance. Going Greek is by far the best thing I've ever done in my life and I bet it will be the best thing you do in yours too.