What Your Mother Doesn't Tell You About: Balancing Life In College

So, here we are again, the first week of the semester or close to it (commonly known as syllabus week). Everything seems to be just fine. You're sitting in class listening to your professor talk while thinking "oh, this is going to be a piece of cake I can totally procrastinate as much as possible in this class and not study much or at all for these exams." Or, maybe, if you have really hard classes like Nuclear Engineering you're thinking "Shoot. Shoot. I am so done for. Bye social life. Bye friends. Bye to myself. RIP to my soul!" What your mother doesn't tell you about balancing life in college is that it's actually really difficult at times.The bottom line is it's all about balance. 

Cougar Fam dinner - note how my big and I accidentally match

If you're Greek or if you're not Greek, being successful is still all about balancing your social life, your academic life, and your personal life. You can, in fact, have a pleasant mix of all three. I have held a full time or close to full time position throughout my long, extended stay in college while being an active member of my sorority and trying my best to get good grades. It's not easy by any means but it's worth it. I struggled very hard my freshman year finding my balance between working arguably a lot for an 18 year old and attending college full time. My grades suffered, I was really unhappy, and I was unsure of how to make a positive change. For me, that positive change was finally going Greek. Because of the requirements of the sorority I joined, I was responsible for maintaining a specific GPA and completing study hours on a weekly basis with my sisters. I learned how to manage my time wisely and become a better, more rounded version of myself. I became a successful college student because I was serious about remaining an active member of my sorority. To be honest, college is rough when you can't find a way to balance everything you're juggling.

I've made a list of my tips for balancing your college life, specifically when you're part of a Greek organization:

1. Take time for yourself.
Take a minute to breath. It's okay if you take a 30 minute nap or turn your phone off for an hour to unwind. You are the most important part of your life and you need to treat yourself as such. Trying to do a million things at once breaks a person down from the inside out and when you're trying to be successful that's not a good formula.

2. Set aside time to study.
Studying is not fun I'll be the first to admit that. It's like flossing your teeth (I actually like that but I guess many people do not...) you have to do it or your dentist will remind you that your teeth are not receiving the proper care. You'll ultimately feel guilty because you know it only takes a few seconds every day. Of course, studying takes more than a few seconds which is unfortunate but setting aside a minimum of 30 minutes every day at least four days a week to review class material will really help you when it comes time to cram for exams.

3. Exercise.
Exercising is so helpful for your body and mind. I don't care if you run eight miles a day, take your dog for a walk, take a Zumba class once a week with your sisters, or if you do a workout routine at home - get moving. When you feel better about yourself you have the ability to excel. You'll be more confident, your endorphin levels will go through the roof, and you'll be an all around happier person. Plus, if you focus on at least 30 minutes of exercise a couple of times a week, you'll help combat the drunken late night Taco Bell quesadilla that you'll probably eat during the weekend.

4. Do your homework.
Like Nike said, Just Do It! It sounds silly to say this, I know, but even if your assignment is the dumbest thing you've ever had to do in your life, just do it. You'll probably get points for it and those points might come back to save you if you don't do so well on an exam.

5. Pick one night per weekend to go out.
I know it's hard. Sigma Pi is having a themed party Friday night, Alpha Xi Delta is having a philanthropy event Friday afternoon, Sigma Kappa is having a pancake breakfast fundraiser Saturday morning, Alpha Tau Omega has a slide 'n slide at their house to raise money for a local charity Saturday afternoon, etc etc etc... You. Are. Busy. Greek Life is busy. You unfortunately have to pick and choose what events you're going to go to. It's not easy because of course you want to support your fellow Greeks in whatever it is that they're doing but you cannot be in multiple places at once (it's 2015, why not?). To be successful, pick one night per weekend to go out and if you get your homework/projects/papers taken care of in a timely manner then by all means, enjoy yourself.

Tailgate on Saturday, Study on Sunday

6. Find a job with flexibility.
I have been so fortunate throughout my college career because I work at an office that's open 9-5 Monday-Friday and I have the ability to come and go as I please as long as I get my work done. Other than that, I work for companies remotely aka online from where ever I am. This makes scheduling classes so much easier if a class I need is not offered at night. Not everyone has that luxury though and some have to work all weekend long in order to make ends meet so that they're able to take their required classes. If you can, find a job that makes you happy but also one that is flexible. Having a boss that understands college is actually really hard to do if you have to work your way through it takes a huge weight off your shoulders.

7. Buy a planner.
This works for most everyone in college. Between socials, mixers, events, homework, projects, exams, work, birthdays, etc... you need something to keep yourself on track. If you like to have a physical planner in hand to write in I recommend buying one with enough space to write your list of duties for each day out. If you're not a fan of having to carry around a planner, head over to the app store and download a day planner. This will save your life more than once. I promise.

Erin or Lilly? The eternal question.

8. Get involved.
But, Kaitlyn, wait a minute - how can I get more involved if I have a ton of things to do already? How does that benefit me? It helps you more than you know. You'll meet people in organizations outside of Greek Life aka more people that can help you in your classes and people you can form study groups with. Plus, who doesn't like getting to know more people? It's a great feeling to walk anywhere on your campus and be greeted with a warm wave or a "hey how's it goin'!?"

9. Take advantage of your chapter's scholarship requirements.
If you're like me, you have to complete a certain amount of study hours per semester. Like, you physically have to go to the library and do your work. Some people might think this sounds strange or a bit juvenile but when you really think about it, what are we all in college for? To do well in our classes and get the heck out of there with a degree in hand. If you're given a required amount of hours to complete per semester, you're going to do them. You're going to be in the library with your sisters or friends or by yourself if that's your thing and you're going to be studying/doing homework. Sit back and watch your GPA sky rocket.

10. Ask for help.
If you can't do everything all on your own, ask for help. It's okay to ask for assistance when you need it. Hello, we're only human. We have bad days where our hair looks like a rat's nest, our favorite Lilly Pulitzer tumbler falls on the ground and breaks, and our allotted print balance for the semester reads $0.00 meaning we have to pay per sheet to print. If you need help, never be afraid to ask. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness and that is the key point to remember.

Enjoy your first few weeks of class and remember these helpful tips for a balanced life.

How to survive your first chapter meeting

So you've survived the craziness of recruitment, the excitement of bid day, and finally met all your lovely sisters! Now you're probably thinking though what your first chapter will be like and how you should act as a new member. You want to make the best first impression, make new friends, and generally just have a great time. Here's my biggest advice for you new members so you can reach all these goals. 

Exec

1. Get familiar with your sorority's rituals, songs, poems, mottos, nick names, and hand signs. 

Song

Whether you passed your sorority's knowledge test with flying colors, are still studying to take it, or are in a local sorority that doesn't have a specific testing procedure at some point you are going to want to know all of your sorority's traditions. Search Pinterest, Sorority Sugar, and various other sorority blogs and learn all that you can! 

2. Listen to the announcements about future events. 

Hoops

Sorority events are a great way to get involved with the Greek community. Especially being a new member this is the best way to get to know not only girls in your sorority but also members of other sororities and fraternities. Formals, philanthropy events, mixers, and speed dating events can all be a blast if you go into them ready to have a great experience. 

3. Be aware of when you need to pay your sorority dues. 

Dues

Whether it is every term, semester, or month make a note somewhere of when you have to pay your dues. Maybe even make a piggy bank like the one above so it becomes a fun occasion. If you need help paying your dues look into how your sorority or university can help you through scholarships or other opportunities. Consider an unhoused local, professional, multicultural, or service sorority as they also normally are less expensive than Panhellenic sororities. 

4. Stay up on your service hours. 

Plunge

There will be so many opportunities for you to work on your service hours. Listen to your philanthropy chair at chapter, find sisters who you can volunteer with, and look into helping organize events! Philanthropy events are a great way to take on more responsibility in your sorority and give back to your community. 

5. Learn your Greek vocabulary. 

Vocab

Check out our blog, Sorority Sugar's blog and glossary of terms, Sorority Ever After's Greek term list, and Bows, Pearls, and Sorority Girls to start. Rho Gamma, colony, door stack, creed, lavaliere can all just seem like random words until you realize their meanings and how they apply to you.  

6. Get to know your chapter's exec board. 

President

Whether you were your class president in high school, anime club co-president, or simply were just very involved in high school you may be interested in an exec position in the future. Get to know the exec board members of your sorority and they can pass on their advice to you. Even if you weren't super involved in high school and want to work on your leadership and teamwork skills now is a great opportunity to step up and represent the place you will be calling home the next four years (or more). 

7. Pick out your badge worthy outfit the day before. 

Attire

From my experience in a local sorority we tend to have formal chapters a couple times a term and the rest of our chapters are informal however yours may be different. Your first chapter I would dress on the more formal side. Try something similar to what you wore during rush such as a nice dress, formal top, or a cute skirt. To be prepared lay out your options and pick out an outfit the night before so you're not scrambling to get to your first chapter meeting on time. 

8. Turn your phone off or put it on vibrate. 

Phone

We all hate that person in the middle of class whose phone starts blaring some annoying pop song so in the middle of a chapter meeting won't be any different. Don't be that new girl who gets on the bad side of exec board her first chapter meeting. Just turn it on silent, vibrate, or completely off because it can wait. Your exec board deserves your undivided attention and respect. 

9. Sit by a new sister every meeting. 

Friends

You may not think the girl with the Lilly planner or the super high voice will become your best friend or even your future big but don't judge based on these quick assessments. Sitting by a new sister every meeting will give you the chance to get to know your sisters no matter your first impression. Whether you become best friends or just passing acquaintances it is good to have these connections for the future. 

10. Have fun! 

Shout out to my goofy sisters and I having a blast!

Your first chapter meeting can be pretty overwhelming and you'll learn a lot in a very short amount of time. So despite all the stress you may be feeling remember that all the older members were once in your shoes. They are there to help you  and they picked you to be apart of their sisterhood so you're already doing something right. That said you'll be an old pro in no time so just have fun and be yourself. 

Five Things You Should Thank Your College Best Friend For

As some of you may know, I am the Greek Life Blogger for Sorority Girl Thoughts. So, you're probably asking yourself, "How does thanking your college best friend play into Greek Life? That doesn't make sense..." and that, my friends, is where I begin my story. Your college best friends, not to be confused with your high school best friends because those people are incredibly important too, but your college best friends have most definitely seen it all. They've been with you through some of your most stressful and most exciting times in your young adult life. They've witnessed you change from a weird little freshman to the confident, leader you are today. My college best friendships all blossomed from being part of Greek Life. If I would have never joined a sorority, specifically my sorority, I would have never become such great friends with these people and my life would be entirely different. Oddly enough, one of the best friends I've ever had is from the same city that I am. We went to rival high schools and never met each other until we were in college, both in the same sorority. More times than not, I forget to thank my college best friends for all they have done for me through good times and bad. Maybe you lived with your college best friend or maybe your college best friend is someone you never thought in a million years you would be friends with. Whatever your case may be, here's a little list of things I feel are very important to thank your college bff for.

Look at the beauty that is my bff and ignore my strange choice of bat necklace accessory. 

1. Thank them for the times they went out of their way just to see you smile. I cannot tell you how important simple acts of kindness are in times of need. If it's stress from finals week, a break up, failing a class, losing a job, or just trying to juggle too much all at once - your college best friend is always there for you because, chances are, they understand your pain. 

2. Thank them for the times they were your biggest fan or biggest support system when you felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders. You probably didn't even realize that they were giving you the support you needed or maybe you did. Regardless, your college best friend noticed you struggling to do all that you tried (and probably succeeded at) accomplishing. They took the initiative to give you an extra ounce of courage to motivate you just enough to get the job done. 

#TBT to that wonderful time when KTE and TKE were paired for Greek Week 2014

3. Thank them for the nights when you wanted to stay in but they made you go out with them anyway. Honestly, you probably had so much fun you completely forgot about the hours you wanted to spend binge watching netflix with no pants on while eating macaroni and cheese from the pan skinny pop popcorn. Thank your best friend for helping you show the real world that you're one hot piece of sass and a heck of a good time too! 

Spontaneous, unofficial Summer mixer with the gents of Kappa Sigma. (NOTE: everyone is of age)

4. Thank them for knowing your order at Starbs, Chipotle (or Qdoba for the Queso Lovers), Jimmy Johns, all-time favorite snack, or for simply knowing your favorite flavor of Gatorade. The fact that your bestie knows and remembers these specific details about you and can easily save you from mid-day hanger, starvation, or the worst hangover known to mankind, deserves an award all on its own.

Some of the best pledge sisters a girl could ask for.

5. Thank them for sticking by your side. It's not always easy, we all know that. Sometimes you're difficult or moody and sometimes your college bff is too. Friends come and go for one reason or another. Fights happen. Distance happens especially with this thing called "growing up and moving away". But really though, was there a class on that topic because I sure wasn't prepared for it to start happening. Thank your college best friend for always, no matter what, being there for you to give you a laugh, a hug, a snap back to reality (oh, there goes gravity), or whatever you need to get you through the day. At this point in life, real friends are so precious and hard to come by.

My big and I color coordinating per usual.

If your college best friends have all gone their separate ways or if you're still making enough memories to last you a life time, don't forget to take a moment to thank them for all they've done for you. 

What is your favorite memory with your college best friend? Let us know in the comments below!

Having More Than One Little

With the fall semester quickly approaching, it's that time of year again. Yes, school is starting and that's just dreadful exciting but that also means recruitment is right around the corner. With recruitment comes PNMs and with PNMs comes the potential for new littles. Perhaps this is your time to shine and take one of these new girls under your wing to become their big sister or maybe you've been an active member of your organization for a while and have had the opportunity to take more than one little. Whatever the case may be, sharing the experience of your sorority (or fraternity) with your little is so special and it is a relationship that should not be taken lightly. I have one actual little sister, Little J, who is an initiated member of my sorority and I cherish our relationship to no end. 

Little J and I at her initiation (as seen on TSM).

I also have five other individuals who are very much like littles to me, I call them my "unofficial littles". They're equally as important and I try my best to make sure I'm always there to support them. Each one of them incorporates a unique piece to my puzzle that I call life. To put it in simple terms that might help you understand, they're like my adopted children and their Greek affiliation (or lack of Greek affiliation) does not matter to me because I'll be there for them for life. Maybe you've been in a similar circumstance or maybe you share your big with another person and are having a difficult time adjusting. So, without further ado, here are a few key points I've put together of what you should and should not do if you have a little, multiple littles, or if you're considering taking a little in the future.

You Should: Have group dates. Make your littles hang out with each other because, let's face it, you'll probably graduate before any of them and be off into the real world before they know it. Having those family bonds solidified before you graduate makes the transition much easier for everyone involved. Plus, it's always nice to have someone in your corner if your big is not around. 

You Should: Treat them equally. No one likes to feel left out so even if your connection with one little is stronger than it is with your other little(s), always make an effort to show them you care.

Different Day. Different Little. Different Leggings. Same Pose.

You Should: Celebrate their accomplishments! Little one got a new car, little two got a new puppy, little three killed their internship interview. No matter how big or small these events are, they're important to your little. Let them know that you're thinking about them! 

You Should: Make a fun family name or give each little a nickname. Like I mentioned, I have acquired a small family of littles. We are the Nugget Family, not like chicken nuggets, but somehow that's the association that's transpired. So, as a result, they're my little pack of nugs. We even have our own secret Facebook group for easy communication but we'll pretend like I didn't just spill the beans with that one. 

Some of the Nugget Family at a tailgate event.

You Should: Take note of how each little reacts in a troubling situation or when dealing with stress and anxiety. Some people love to be hugged and soothed during times like these when others just need a pat on the back and an ice cream cone. Know how to help your little through these tough times. 

You Should Not: Favor one little over another. Yes, of course, sometimes you can't control the connection you have with someone but don't let it show. Always, always, always try to remain neutral. 

You Should Not: Forget the important dates in your littles' lives. Birthdays, anniversaries, milestones - write them down for yourself so you can always send some love their way on these special days.

You Should Not: Let too much time pass in between hanging out or catching up. Obviously, it's hard to coordinate with multiple schedules especially when you have a busy schedule of your own. However, you're never too busy to shoot your littles individual texts or messages to let them know you're thinking about them. 

You Should Not: Disown your little. Every so often, people who share a very close bond get annoyed with each other and feel that it's necessary to push back. Try not to do this, especially with your little. It's okay to have disagreements but mend those ties as soon as possible. Even if your little irritates you and you find yourself filled with negative emotions, always make an effort to mend the relationship. Your little is like your child and you have assumed the role of a parent - remember that always. Your little is yours for life not just for four years. 

Twinning with Little J.

If you have one little or twenty littles, your little looks up to you probably more than you realize. In many cases, you're the one that drives their passion for your organization or Greek Life and you give them the tools necessary for being an incredible big one day too. Aside from that, they learn from you. You indirectly teach them, hopefully, the right ways to navigate college and they usually keep you on your toes. The best way to summarize this would be to say, treat your little(s) how you would want to be treated. Best of luck this Fall if you're searching for your first, second, or even your third little. Whatever number you're on, having a little is always an awesome experience. 

What's your favorite memory with your big or little? Comment below and let us know! 

Notes to the LDC: Amanda's Reflection on Being an LDC

Since today is my final day as a leadership development consultant for Phi Sigma Sigma, I wanted to reflect on all of the great things this job has offered me.

In addition to all of the benefits I mentioned in my first SGT blog post, I have had the opportunity to meet some amazing Phi Sigma Sigma women from around the country.

As you can see in this photograph, I received a lot of love from many sisters.

A majority of these notes are from the sisters of the Gamma Xi chapter at Widener University. They welcomed me into their beautiful home eight months ago. Throughout the school year I have worked closely with the chapter to create positive change and exciting new traditions. While it was a lot of work, the sisters and I had fun together as well. From hanging out in the manor to running the concession stands at PPL Park for a fundraiser, we have created many memories. I hope I taught them a lot because these women helped me develop leadership skills that I did not expect to gain. 

There are also notes in there from my consultant big, Shelly. Shelly is an amazing Phi Sig from Oregon who also was once a leadership consultant for the sorority. Even though she is from the other side of the country, she has been a huge support system for me. Whenever I  needed advice, Shelly offered her love and care through phone calls, text messages, and even surprise packages! Shelly mailed me a big package of my favorite candies and she even got me an adorable tank top from The Greek Supply "just because."

I also need to acknowledge my lovely sisters from the Iota Rho chapter at Saint Joseph's University. Some of the notes in this picture are from founders of the chapter and the chapter's advisor, Beth. This chapter has been such a joy to work with because the sisters are sweet and friendly and the leaders of the chapter are very driven and accomplished. Watching this newer chapter grow and experience its first formal recruitment was so rewarding and I look forward to seeing what the women do next.

Even though I was stationed in the Philadelphia area for a majority of my time as a consultant, I traveled to at least ten states and around 20 universities. In the pile I have an adorable thank you card from the Zeta Omicron chapter at Kutztown University and I have multiple kind notes and letters from another former consultant, Christina, after we colonized Phi Sigma Sigma's newest chapter at Farmingdale State College. All of my visits were unique, enlightening, and definitely unforgettable.

Because this job allowed me to explore different parts of the country with sisters, I added in some ticket stubs. I visited museums in Washington, D.C. with another consultant, Katie, and I even attended a campus-sponsored drag queen show with the Zeta Rho chapter at Fitchburg State University.

At the top of the photograph is a review of my work as a consultant after the fall semester. I added the review to this pile because it was full of encouraging feedback from chapter leaders and advisors. I am so proud to see that I have been making a positive and lasting impact on the chapters I work with and visit. I hope to keep in touch with everyone and hear about how they have grown.

There are many other special people that shaped my LDC experience as well. Some additional memories added in this next college include chaperoning the Grab-a-Date date party for the Delta Eta chapter at University of Delaware, helping the Iota Eta chapter at Florida Institute of Technology with formal recruitment, taking photo shoots with the other Phi Sigma Sigma consultants, working at Leadership Conference in Virginia, running extension presentations with HQ staff, playing laser tag with sisters from the Delta Upsilon chapter at Siena Heights University, and bumping into my grand little at a Phired Up workshop.

This has been a crazy eight months, but I do not regret a minute of it. LITP!

Thank You Letter to My Best Friends

       Thank you so much for making me the person I am now. You were always there to have my back along with supporting me along the way. You were there for the ups and the downs and held me when I had everything to lose. When I am in need you are always one of the first people I turn to! 
       You always keep me on my feet too! When the two of us are together we can always make anything into an adventure. Going to the movies, going on joy rides, or just laying on the couch watching some movie that we quote or guess the whole plot to are just a few of my favorite memories. 
        To say you are my friend is one thing, but to say your my best friend is another. We always have each others backs. We always know what the other one is thinking. We know each others favorites of everything. We can do absolutely nothing and can have a blast. 
       We have both been there for the heart breaks and the honeymoon stages in relationships. Although we may not be with each other for a while because of school, jobs, or studying abroad you are always the person I want to talk to when anything comes up in my life! We started as strangers, we moved to friends, and now you are one of my best! 
      Thanks for the past memories, thanks for the current, and thanks for the many more to come. I am lucky to have someone like you in my life to laugh along with on the roller coaster of a life we both have.

XOXO your best friend!

Binge Watch Your Favorite TV Series

Netflix, Hulu, and any other tv website has a variety of shows. If you haven't started to binge watch a show these are the ones you will want to check out!

1. One Tree Hill- Netflix

2. Nashville- Hulu

3. Gossip Girl- Netflix

4. Orange is the New Black- Netflix

5. Scandal- Netflix

6. How I Met Your Mother- Netflix

7. Friends- Netflix

8. New Girl- Netflix/ Hulu

9. Gilmore Girls- Netflix

10. Jane the Virgin- Hulu

Sit right in front of your laptop, tv, or pull out your Roku to watch some of your favorites and some new shows. Make sure to pour a big glass of red wine for your favorite scandal.