What Your Mother Doesn't Tell You About: Balancing Life In College

So, here we are again, the first week of the semester or close to it (commonly known as syllabus week). Everything seems to be just fine. You're sitting in class listening to your professor talk while thinking "oh, this is going to be a piece of cake I can totally procrastinate as much as possible in this class and not study much or at all for these exams." Or, maybe, if you have really hard classes like Nuclear Engineering you're thinking "Shoot. Shoot. I am so done for. Bye social life. Bye friends. Bye to myself. RIP to my soul!" What your mother doesn't tell you about balancing life in college is that it's actually really difficult at times.The bottom line is it's all about balance. 

Cougar Fam dinner - note how my big and I accidentally match

If you're Greek or if you're not Greek, being successful is still all about balancing your social life, your academic life, and your personal life. You can, in fact, have a pleasant mix of all three. I have held a full time or close to full time position throughout my long, extended stay in college while being an active member of my sorority and trying my best to get good grades. It's not easy by any means but it's worth it. I struggled very hard my freshman year finding my balance between working arguably a lot for an 18 year old and attending college full time. My grades suffered, I was really unhappy, and I was unsure of how to make a positive change. For me, that positive change was finally going Greek. Because of the requirements of the sorority I joined, I was responsible for maintaining a specific GPA and completing study hours on a weekly basis with my sisters. I learned how to manage my time wisely and become a better, more rounded version of myself. I became a successful college student because I was serious about remaining an active member of my sorority. To be honest, college is rough when you can't find a way to balance everything you're juggling.

I've made a list of my tips for balancing your college life, specifically when you're part of a Greek organization:

1. Take time for yourself.
Take a minute to breath. It's okay if you take a 30 minute nap or turn your phone off for an hour to unwind. You are the most important part of your life and you need to treat yourself as such. Trying to do a million things at once breaks a person down from the inside out and when you're trying to be successful that's not a good formula.

2. Set aside time to study.
Studying is not fun I'll be the first to admit that. It's like flossing your teeth (I actually like that but I guess many people do not...) you have to do it or your dentist will remind you that your teeth are not receiving the proper care. You'll ultimately feel guilty because you know it only takes a few seconds every day. Of course, studying takes more than a few seconds which is unfortunate but setting aside a minimum of 30 minutes every day at least four days a week to review class material will really help you when it comes time to cram for exams.

3. Exercise.
Exercising is so helpful for your body and mind. I don't care if you run eight miles a day, take your dog for a walk, take a Zumba class once a week with your sisters, or if you do a workout routine at home - get moving. When you feel better about yourself you have the ability to excel. You'll be more confident, your endorphin levels will go through the roof, and you'll be an all around happier person. Plus, if you focus on at least 30 minutes of exercise a couple of times a week, you'll help combat the drunken late night Taco Bell quesadilla that you'll probably eat during the weekend.

4. Do your homework.
Like Nike said, Just Do It! It sounds silly to say this, I know, but even if your assignment is the dumbest thing you've ever had to do in your life, just do it. You'll probably get points for it and those points might come back to save you if you don't do so well on an exam.

5. Pick one night per weekend to go out.
I know it's hard. Sigma Pi is having a themed party Friday night, Alpha Xi Delta is having a philanthropy event Friday afternoon, Sigma Kappa is having a pancake breakfast fundraiser Saturday morning, Alpha Tau Omega has a slide 'n slide at their house to raise money for a local charity Saturday afternoon, etc etc etc... You. Are. Busy. Greek Life is busy. You unfortunately have to pick and choose what events you're going to go to. It's not easy because of course you want to support your fellow Greeks in whatever it is that they're doing but you cannot be in multiple places at once (it's 2015, why not?). To be successful, pick one night per weekend to go out and if you get your homework/projects/papers taken care of in a timely manner then by all means, enjoy yourself.

Tailgate on Saturday, Study on Sunday

6. Find a job with flexibility.
I have been so fortunate throughout my college career because I work at an office that's open 9-5 Monday-Friday and I have the ability to come and go as I please as long as I get my work done. Other than that, I work for companies remotely aka online from where ever I am. This makes scheduling classes so much easier if a class I need is not offered at night. Not everyone has that luxury though and some have to work all weekend long in order to make ends meet so that they're able to take their required classes. If you can, find a job that makes you happy but also one that is flexible. Having a boss that understands college is actually really hard to do if you have to work your way through it takes a huge weight off your shoulders.

7. Buy a planner.
This works for most everyone in college. Between socials, mixers, events, homework, projects, exams, work, birthdays, etc... you need something to keep yourself on track. If you like to have a physical planner in hand to write in I recommend buying one with enough space to write your list of duties for each day out. If you're not a fan of having to carry around a planner, head over to the app store and download a day planner. This will save your life more than once. I promise.

Erin or Lilly? The eternal question.

8. Get involved.
But, Kaitlyn, wait a minute - how can I get more involved if I have a ton of things to do already? How does that benefit me? It helps you more than you know. You'll meet people in organizations outside of Greek Life aka more people that can help you in your classes and people you can form study groups with. Plus, who doesn't like getting to know more people? It's a great feeling to walk anywhere on your campus and be greeted with a warm wave or a "hey how's it goin'!?"

9. Take advantage of your chapter's scholarship requirements.
If you're like me, you have to complete a certain amount of study hours per semester. Like, you physically have to go to the library and do your work. Some people might think this sounds strange or a bit juvenile but when you really think about it, what are we all in college for? To do well in our classes and get the heck out of there with a degree in hand. If you're given a required amount of hours to complete per semester, you're going to do them. You're going to be in the library with your sisters or friends or by yourself if that's your thing and you're going to be studying/doing homework. Sit back and watch your GPA sky rocket.

10. Ask for help.
If you can't do everything all on your own, ask for help. It's okay to ask for assistance when you need it. Hello, we're only human. We have bad days where our hair looks like a rat's nest, our favorite Lilly Pulitzer tumbler falls on the ground and breaks, and our allotted print balance for the semester reads $0.00 meaning we have to pay per sheet to print. If you need help, never be afraid to ask. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness and that is the key point to remember.

Enjoy your first few weeks of class and remember these helpful tips for a balanced life.

Five Things You Should Thank Your College Best Friend For

As some of you may know, I am the Greek Life Blogger for Sorority Girl Thoughts. So, you're probably asking yourself, "How does thanking your college best friend play into Greek Life? That doesn't make sense..." and that, my friends, is where I begin my story. Your college best friends, not to be confused with your high school best friends because those people are incredibly important too, but your college best friends have most definitely seen it all. They've been with you through some of your most stressful and most exciting times in your young adult life. They've witnessed you change from a weird little freshman to the confident, leader you are today. My college best friendships all blossomed from being part of Greek Life. If I would have never joined a sorority, specifically my sorority, I would have never become such great friends with these people and my life would be entirely different. Oddly enough, one of the best friends I've ever had is from the same city that I am. We went to rival high schools and never met each other until we were in college, both in the same sorority. More times than not, I forget to thank my college best friends for all they have done for me through good times and bad. Maybe you lived with your college best friend or maybe your college best friend is someone you never thought in a million years you would be friends with. Whatever your case may be, here's a little list of things I feel are very important to thank your college bff for.

Look at the beauty that is my bff and ignore my strange choice of bat necklace accessory. 

1. Thank them for the times they went out of their way just to see you smile. I cannot tell you how important simple acts of kindness are in times of need. If it's stress from finals week, a break up, failing a class, losing a job, or just trying to juggle too much all at once - your college best friend is always there for you because, chances are, they understand your pain. 

2. Thank them for the times they were your biggest fan or biggest support system when you felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders. You probably didn't even realize that they were giving you the support you needed or maybe you did. Regardless, your college best friend noticed you struggling to do all that you tried (and probably succeeded at) accomplishing. They took the initiative to give you an extra ounce of courage to motivate you just enough to get the job done. 

#TBT to that wonderful time when KTE and TKE were paired for Greek Week 2014

3. Thank them for the nights when you wanted to stay in but they made you go out with them anyway. Honestly, you probably had so much fun you completely forgot about the hours you wanted to spend binge watching netflix with no pants on while eating macaroni and cheese from the pan skinny pop popcorn. Thank your best friend for helping you show the real world that you're one hot piece of sass and a heck of a good time too! 

Spontaneous, unofficial Summer mixer with the gents of Kappa Sigma. (NOTE: everyone is of age)

4. Thank them for knowing your order at Starbs, Chipotle (or Qdoba for the Queso Lovers), Jimmy Johns, all-time favorite snack, or for simply knowing your favorite flavor of Gatorade. The fact that your bestie knows and remembers these specific details about you and can easily save you from mid-day hanger, starvation, or the worst hangover known to mankind, deserves an award all on its own.

Some of the best pledge sisters a girl could ask for.

5. Thank them for sticking by your side. It's not always easy, we all know that. Sometimes you're difficult or moody and sometimes your college bff is too. Friends come and go for one reason or another. Fights happen. Distance happens especially with this thing called "growing up and moving away". But really though, was there a class on that topic because I sure wasn't prepared for it to start happening. Thank your college best friend for always, no matter what, being there for you to give you a laugh, a hug, a snap back to reality (oh, there goes gravity), or whatever you need to get you through the day. At this point in life, real friends are so precious and hard to come by.

My big and I color coordinating per usual.

If your college best friends have all gone their separate ways or if you're still making enough memories to last you a life time, don't forget to take a moment to thank them for all they've done for you. 

What is your favorite memory with your college best friend? Let us know in the comments below!

Having More Than One Little

With the fall semester quickly approaching, it's that time of year again. Yes, school is starting and that's just dreadful exciting but that also means recruitment is right around the corner. With recruitment comes PNMs and with PNMs comes the potential for new littles. Perhaps this is your time to shine and take one of these new girls under your wing to become their big sister or maybe you've been an active member of your organization for a while and have had the opportunity to take more than one little. Whatever the case may be, sharing the experience of your sorority (or fraternity) with your little is so special and it is a relationship that should not be taken lightly. I have one actual little sister, Little J, who is an initiated member of my sorority and I cherish our relationship to no end. 

Little J and I at her initiation (as seen on TSM).

I also have five other individuals who are very much like littles to me, I call them my "unofficial littles". They're equally as important and I try my best to make sure I'm always there to support them. Each one of them incorporates a unique piece to my puzzle that I call life. To put it in simple terms that might help you understand, they're like my adopted children and their Greek affiliation (or lack of Greek affiliation) does not matter to me because I'll be there for them for life. Maybe you've been in a similar circumstance or maybe you share your big with another person and are having a difficult time adjusting. So, without further ado, here are a few key points I've put together of what you should and should not do if you have a little, multiple littles, or if you're considering taking a little in the future.

You Should: Have group dates. Make your littles hang out with each other because, let's face it, you'll probably graduate before any of them and be off into the real world before they know it. Having those family bonds solidified before you graduate makes the transition much easier for everyone involved. Plus, it's always nice to have someone in your corner if your big is not around. 

You Should: Treat them equally. No one likes to feel left out so even if your connection with one little is stronger than it is with your other little(s), always make an effort to show them you care.

Different Day. Different Little. Different Leggings. Same Pose.

You Should: Celebrate their accomplishments! Little one got a new car, little two got a new puppy, little three killed their internship interview. No matter how big or small these events are, they're important to your little. Let them know that you're thinking about them! 

You Should: Make a fun family name or give each little a nickname. Like I mentioned, I have acquired a small family of littles. We are the Nugget Family, not like chicken nuggets, but somehow that's the association that's transpired. So, as a result, they're my little pack of nugs. We even have our own secret Facebook group for easy communication but we'll pretend like I didn't just spill the beans with that one. 

Some of the Nugget Family at a tailgate event.

You Should: Take note of how each little reacts in a troubling situation or when dealing with stress and anxiety. Some people love to be hugged and soothed during times like these when others just need a pat on the back and an ice cream cone. Know how to help your little through these tough times. 

You Should Not: Favor one little over another. Yes, of course, sometimes you can't control the connection you have with someone but don't let it show. Always, always, always try to remain neutral. 

You Should Not: Forget the important dates in your littles' lives. Birthdays, anniversaries, milestones - write them down for yourself so you can always send some love their way on these special days.

You Should Not: Let too much time pass in between hanging out or catching up. Obviously, it's hard to coordinate with multiple schedules especially when you have a busy schedule of your own. However, you're never too busy to shoot your littles individual texts or messages to let them know you're thinking about them. 

You Should Not: Disown your little. Every so often, people who share a very close bond get annoyed with each other and feel that it's necessary to push back. Try not to do this, especially with your little. It's okay to have disagreements but mend those ties as soon as possible. Even if your little irritates you and you find yourself filled with negative emotions, always make an effort to mend the relationship. Your little is like your child and you have assumed the role of a parent - remember that always. Your little is yours for life not just for four years. 

Twinning with Little J.

If you have one little or twenty littles, your little looks up to you probably more than you realize. In many cases, you're the one that drives their passion for your organization or Greek Life and you give them the tools necessary for being an incredible big one day too. Aside from that, they learn from you. You indirectly teach them, hopefully, the right ways to navigate college and they usually keep you on your toes. The best way to summarize this would be to say, treat your little(s) how you would want to be treated. Best of luck this Fall if you're searching for your first, second, or even your third little. Whatever number you're on, having a little is always an awesome experience. 

What's your favorite memory with your big or little? Comment below and let us know! 

9 Things You Miss Most When You're Away From Your Sorority

Whenever I go on vacation, it is so extremely depressing to be away from your sorority [I seriously mean this, even though going away on vacation is glorious.] While away, it's hard not to think about all the things you're missing out on especially if no one in your sorority is away with you. Here are the top 9 things that almost all sorority girls miss while they're away on vay-k. 

1. Your Little[s]
-Bring on the countless, sappy texts back and forth to one another about how much you miss them and how you wish they were here [just pull more at our heartstrings why don't ya?]

2. Your Big
-No one gets you quite like your big, and when she's not around to keep you in check or to be the first person to come pick you up in your time of dire need, you feel a huge part of you missing.

3. Venting Sessions
-Venting sessions rarely occur in family settings while on vacation, and missing that quality girl time with your closest sisters leaves you without your daily fill of 4-1-1 gossip.

4. Meetings
-Maybe meetings aren't the most fun things to attend in a sorority, but they do keep you up to date on the latest material and events that are coming up and missing one really [for lack of a better term] sucks when you're out of the loop and struggling to read through your chapter minutes to catch up.

5. Going Out
-Being able to let loose and have a great time with the ones who get you the most is disheartening. I love going out with my closest sisters and having a great time; who else is going to dance at parties and bars with you? I can answer that for you- not many, and definitely not your family.

6. New Member Events
-These are prime times to hang out and get to know the associating members of your chapter in different settings, and missing out on new member events stinks, particularly if they're the super fun ones that you enjoyed so much during previous processes or your own.

7. Wearing Letters
-Depending on where you go on vacation it may be way too hot for that cute spirit jersey or adorable pair of long sleeve letters, so having to take a break from wearing letters is extremely difficult. [I try to wear a hat with letters on it because I start to have withdrawal from my beautiful twill babies; consult picture above].


8. Hanging out and Relaxing with Sisters
-Maybe you're relaxing on vacation, but it's always better when there's sisters there to keep you company. How much better would catching rays be with your sisters by your side? A lot.


9. Borrowing Clothes
-Without your sisters there, who are you going to borrow cute clothes from? Unfortunately you can't bring your sisters' wardrobes on vay-k with you so you have to do without them for a while.

A Letter to my Freshman Self

 Dear freshman me,

It’s currently January 31, 2015 and that means that it’s been about a month and a half since you graduated from college. Right now, there are a lot of things I wish I did, or didn’t do, depending on the situation.

Go through recruitment now instead of next spring so that you can spend more time in your chapter and with the girls who will become your best friends. Those “friends” from freshman year, I know it may not be what you want to hear, but none of those friendships will truly last. Once in a while you’ll see the people you came to know but they aren’t going to be the truest of the true. That best friend of yours that talked you into coming to college here instead of the school you really wanted to, your friendship didn’t last through your first semester, but don’t worry because things will get better.

Freshman me, you’re going to want to do a lot of things, but always keep your future in mind. Think ahead and don’t ever forget where you want to go, no matter what you have to do to get there. Work hard, pull all nighters if you have to, but NEVER give up on your dreams. Right now, in spring of 2011, you’ve officially switched over to Criminal Justice and I promise you that you’ll fall in love with it. 22 year old you still dreams of becoming an FBI agent one day, so strive towards that, okay? You’re only 18, but be responsible!

As for those boys who broke your heart, don’t pay any attention to them because I can promise you that, once again, the best is yet to come. The summer of 2014, you’ll meet the one that’ll make you forget that anyone else is in the world. When you meet him, you’ll immediately know because he won’t come into your life quietly. He’ll obnoxiously message you telling you that he thinks you’re beautiful and you’ll bond over Marvel and everything nerdy. He’ll call you beautiful and princess and he’ll always listen to you and give you advice, no matter what your problem is.  He’ll be the one that listens to you and makes attempts to care about everything that’s happening in your life. Make sure you love him every single day and love him as hard as you can, because when you least expect it, you’ll wake up to a message that’ll change your world. I won’t be nice about it because you should be prepared, especially because I wasn’t. A drunk driver is how he met his untimely demise and you’ll feel like you’re dying. Heck…it’s 4 months later and I still feel like I’m dying inside but guess what, you’ll have your three best friends.

These girls have been there for you no matter what. You met one in February 2012 and the other two in September 2012. You may not know it when you meet them, but you’ll end up being inseparable. These are the girls who take you hiking and go with you to the restaurant you’ve wanted to go to since you moved here for college.

You’re probably wondering what 22 year old you is doing now and to be honest, you’re sitting at your room at your parents house in your hometown. Trust me, freshman me,  you have a job that you LOVE and you didn’t give that up, even for another job in another state that paid twice as much. When you’re looking through internships, you’ll know in your heart where you’re supposed to be.

18 year old me, hug your parents every day and call your grandparents to tell them hi and that you love them at least three times a week. They’re still here and doing well, but just let them know that you appreciate them and all they’ve done for you. You’ll pay it back to them when you graduate in December 2015.

That’s all for me. I’ve given you a lot of hints, but you have to write your own story and be your own person.

Good luck, freshman version of me. You’re going to be successful.

Xoxo,

22 year old, UCCS graduate version of me.