What Your Mother Doesn't Tell You About: Balancing Life In College

So, here we are again, the first week of the semester or close to it (commonly known as syllabus week). Everything seems to be just fine. You're sitting in class listening to your professor talk while thinking "oh, this is going to be a piece of cake I can totally procrastinate as much as possible in this class and not study much or at all for these exams." Or, maybe, if you have really hard classes like Nuclear Engineering you're thinking "Shoot. Shoot. I am so done for. Bye social life. Bye friends. Bye to myself. RIP to my soul!" What your mother doesn't tell you about balancing life in college is that it's actually really difficult at times.The bottom line is it's all about balance. 

Cougar Fam dinner - note how my big and I accidentally match

If you're Greek or if you're not Greek, being successful is still all about balancing your social life, your academic life, and your personal life. You can, in fact, have a pleasant mix of all three. I have held a full time or close to full time position throughout my long, extended stay in college while being an active member of my sorority and trying my best to get good grades. It's not easy by any means but it's worth it. I struggled very hard my freshman year finding my balance between working arguably a lot for an 18 year old and attending college full time. My grades suffered, I was really unhappy, and I was unsure of how to make a positive change. For me, that positive change was finally going Greek. Because of the requirements of the sorority I joined, I was responsible for maintaining a specific GPA and completing study hours on a weekly basis with my sisters. I learned how to manage my time wisely and become a better, more rounded version of myself. I became a successful college student because I was serious about remaining an active member of my sorority. To be honest, college is rough when you can't find a way to balance everything you're juggling.

I've made a list of my tips for balancing your college life, specifically when you're part of a Greek organization:

1. Take time for yourself.
Take a minute to breath. It's okay if you take a 30 minute nap or turn your phone off for an hour to unwind. You are the most important part of your life and you need to treat yourself as such. Trying to do a million things at once breaks a person down from the inside out and when you're trying to be successful that's not a good formula.

2. Set aside time to study.
Studying is not fun I'll be the first to admit that. It's like flossing your teeth (I actually like that but I guess many people do not...) you have to do it or your dentist will remind you that your teeth are not receiving the proper care. You'll ultimately feel guilty because you know it only takes a few seconds every day. Of course, studying takes more than a few seconds which is unfortunate but setting aside a minimum of 30 minutes every day at least four days a week to review class material will really help you when it comes time to cram for exams.

3. Exercise.
Exercising is so helpful for your body and mind. I don't care if you run eight miles a day, take your dog for a walk, take a Zumba class once a week with your sisters, or if you do a workout routine at home - get moving. When you feel better about yourself you have the ability to excel. You'll be more confident, your endorphin levels will go through the roof, and you'll be an all around happier person. Plus, if you focus on at least 30 minutes of exercise a couple of times a week, you'll help combat the drunken late night Taco Bell quesadilla that you'll probably eat during the weekend.

4. Do your homework.
Like Nike said, Just Do It! It sounds silly to say this, I know, but even if your assignment is the dumbest thing you've ever had to do in your life, just do it. You'll probably get points for it and those points might come back to save you if you don't do so well on an exam.

5. Pick one night per weekend to go out.
I know it's hard. Sigma Pi is having a themed party Friday night, Alpha Xi Delta is having a philanthropy event Friday afternoon, Sigma Kappa is having a pancake breakfast fundraiser Saturday morning, Alpha Tau Omega has a slide 'n slide at their house to raise money for a local charity Saturday afternoon, etc etc etc... You. Are. Busy. Greek Life is busy. You unfortunately have to pick and choose what events you're going to go to. It's not easy because of course you want to support your fellow Greeks in whatever it is that they're doing but you cannot be in multiple places at once (it's 2015, why not?). To be successful, pick one night per weekend to go out and if you get your homework/projects/papers taken care of in a timely manner then by all means, enjoy yourself.

Tailgate on Saturday, Study on Sunday

6. Find a job with flexibility.
I have been so fortunate throughout my college career because I work at an office that's open 9-5 Monday-Friday and I have the ability to come and go as I please as long as I get my work done. Other than that, I work for companies remotely aka online from where ever I am. This makes scheduling classes so much easier if a class I need is not offered at night. Not everyone has that luxury though and some have to work all weekend long in order to make ends meet so that they're able to take their required classes. If you can, find a job that makes you happy but also one that is flexible. Having a boss that understands college is actually really hard to do if you have to work your way through it takes a huge weight off your shoulders.

7. Buy a planner.
This works for most everyone in college. Between socials, mixers, events, homework, projects, exams, work, birthdays, etc... you need something to keep yourself on track. If you like to have a physical planner in hand to write in I recommend buying one with enough space to write your list of duties for each day out. If you're not a fan of having to carry around a planner, head over to the app store and download a day planner. This will save your life more than once. I promise.

Erin or Lilly? The eternal question.

8. Get involved.
But, Kaitlyn, wait a minute - how can I get more involved if I have a ton of things to do already? How does that benefit me? It helps you more than you know. You'll meet people in organizations outside of Greek Life aka more people that can help you in your classes and people you can form study groups with. Plus, who doesn't like getting to know more people? It's a great feeling to walk anywhere on your campus and be greeted with a warm wave or a "hey how's it goin'!?"

9. Take advantage of your chapter's scholarship requirements.
If you're like me, you have to complete a certain amount of study hours per semester. Like, you physically have to go to the library and do your work. Some people might think this sounds strange or a bit juvenile but when you really think about it, what are we all in college for? To do well in our classes and get the heck out of there with a degree in hand. If you're given a required amount of hours to complete per semester, you're going to do them. You're going to be in the library with your sisters or friends or by yourself if that's your thing and you're going to be studying/doing homework. Sit back and watch your GPA sky rocket.

10. Ask for help.
If you can't do everything all on your own, ask for help. It's okay to ask for assistance when you need it. Hello, we're only human. We have bad days where our hair looks like a rat's nest, our favorite Lilly Pulitzer tumbler falls on the ground and breaks, and our allotted print balance for the semester reads $0.00 meaning we have to pay per sheet to print. If you need help, never be afraid to ask. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness and that is the key point to remember.

Enjoy your first few weeks of class and remember these helpful tips for a balanced life.

Five Things You Should Thank Your College Best Friend For

As some of you may know, I am the Greek Life Blogger for Sorority Girl Thoughts. So, you're probably asking yourself, "How does thanking your college best friend play into Greek Life? That doesn't make sense..." and that, my friends, is where I begin my story. Your college best friends, not to be confused with your high school best friends because those people are incredibly important too, but your college best friends have most definitely seen it all. They've been with you through some of your most stressful and most exciting times in your young adult life. They've witnessed you change from a weird little freshman to the confident, leader you are today. My college best friendships all blossomed from being part of Greek Life. If I would have never joined a sorority, specifically my sorority, I would have never become such great friends with these people and my life would be entirely different. Oddly enough, one of the best friends I've ever had is from the same city that I am. We went to rival high schools and never met each other until we were in college, both in the same sorority. More times than not, I forget to thank my college best friends for all they have done for me through good times and bad. Maybe you lived with your college best friend or maybe your college best friend is someone you never thought in a million years you would be friends with. Whatever your case may be, here's a little list of things I feel are very important to thank your college bff for.

Look at the beauty that is my bff and ignore my strange choice of bat necklace accessory. 

1. Thank them for the times they went out of their way just to see you smile. I cannot tell you how important simple acts of kindness are in times of need. If it's stress from finals week, a break up, failing a class, losing a job, or just trying to juggle too much all at once - your college best friend is always there for you because, chances are, they understand your pain. 

2. Thank them for the times they were your biggest fan or biggest support system when you felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders. You probably didn't even realize that they were giving you the support you needed or maybe you did. Regardless, your college best friend noticed you struggling to do all that you tried (and probably succeeded at) accomplishing. They took the initiative to give you an extra ounce of courage to motivate you just enough to get the job done. 

#TBT to that wonderful time when KTE and TKE were paired for Greek Week 2014

3. Thank them for the nights when you wanted to stay in but they made you go out with them anyway. Honestly, you probably had so much fun you completely forgot about the hours you wanted to spend binge watching netflix with no pants on while eating macaroni and cheese from the pan skinny pop popcorn. Thank your best friend for helping you show the real world that you're one hot piece of sass and a heck of a good time too! 

Spontaneous, unofficial Summer mixer with the gents of Kappa Sigma. (NOTE: everyone is of age)

4. Thank them for knowing your order at Starbs, Chipotle (or Qdoba for the Queso Lovers), Jimmy Johns, all-time favorite snack, or for simply knowing your favorite flavor of Gatorade. The fact that your bestie knows and remembers these specific details about you and can easily save you from mid-day hanger, starvation, or the worst hangover known to mankind, deserves an award all on its own.

Some of the best pledge sisters a girl could ask for.

5. Thank them for sticking by your side. It's not always easy, we all know that. Sometimes you're difficult or moody and sometimes your college bff is too. Friends come and go for one reason or another. Fights happen. Distance happens especially with this thing called "growing up and moving away". But really though, was there a class on that topic because I sure wasn't prepared for it to start happening. Thank your college best friend for always, no matter what, being there for you to give you a laugh, a hug, a snap back to reality (oh, there goes gravity), or whatever you need to get you through the day. At this point in life, real friends are so precious and hard to come by.

My big and I color coordinating per usual.

If your college best friends have all gone their separate ways or if you're still making enough memories to last you a life time, don't forget to take a moment to thank them for all they've done for you. 

What is your favorite memory with your college best friend? Let us know in the comments below!

A Word of Advice during Recruitment from a former Greek Life Graduate Assistant

Now that the first two weeks of school have come to a close, many universities have started their recruitment processes for joining Greek organizations (please refer to previous blog post here) for the Fall 2014 semester.

While this is usually an opportunity for each chapter to truly show potential new members what the chapter has to offer, I am going to urge all you sorority women to go one step further and not only show what your chapter brings to your college/university but what Greek Life in general brings to your campus.

Now, I know this may seem a bit unorthodox, but the reality is YES we want to continue to grow the legacy of our individual chapters but without the support of the university in which we are chartered, our chapters would not exist. Therefore, it is just as important to promote “RUSH (insert chapter name here)” as it is to promote “Going Greek” in general.

It is your responsibility as a Greek Life member to not only promote and protect your chapter but also the other chapters that exist on your campus, because  at the end of the day, you all reflect what Greek Life at your university gives to its students to the University administrators. 

In the end, the being unified (also known as “Gruinty” at Pace University”) provides you with the greatest chance to prosper as a chapter, as a community, and as a vital piece to campus life.

With that being said, I hope you all take this opportunity during recruitment to not only talk about your experiences and your chapter, but also describe and promote Greek Life as a whole.

Greek Stereotypes

              College life is just one big party. Your drink, make friends, have hookups and who cares about studying, especially if your in a sorority! All those girls do is hangout only with each other, always have to look pretty not to mention they are the brattiest people on the campus. Every sorority hates one another and that's just how it is and will continue to be.
              This is a HUGE misconception! Don't get me wrong, every campus is different. Almost all of the sorority women I have met are women of substance. They believe in their values and ideals but they are also there own person. Yes sorority girls love to hangout with their sisters but they also have friends outside of them. I know I have multiple friends in other sororities, and outside of Greek life. Not every sorority is known for partying, some are known for their pride in their philanthropy! Every sorority is different which means this idea of the "stereotypical sorority girl" needs to be broken for people to see the opportunity and the genuine character of the girls. 
             I know at my school, and at many other we are doing a great job breaking down this barrier, and if ever someone does stereotype like my teacher did in one of my universities health classes we have to stand up to it, bring awareness and let people know that isn't how it works now. I know my sorority sister and I were terrified when my professor said something negative about Greek life, sororities, or fraternities, but we raised are hands and said no. We explained ourselves and he fought back, but we continued to disagree in front of a huge lecture. These letters on my chest help make me the person I am today, I am not going to let someone who thinks they know what they stand for or who I am tell me what they are. Awareness is something we don't think about too often when are with sisters, but everyone is watching a judging. Lets continue to strive to make a good mark on people, colleges, and universities for all of Greek life! 

Letter to the Incoming Freshman

               College is a whole lot more than I expected. I thought I was going to school for a degree but what a am receiving is a whole lot more! Freshman year I walked into a co-ed dorm with a car full of stuff. I met people who made a huge impact on me. I wouldn't trade living in a dorm room for anything because I had met so many people. I had a roommate who I didn't really know because we met online, I had a friend who I met at connections, and I had friends of friends. We had a group of people we would hangout with whenever we weren't in classes and it was great. That ended when one, two, three, four of them decided to drop out or transfer schools. It was the best and probably worst year having the highs and lows not so far apart. Those of us who stayed... well the three of us from the group remaining became distant, except for me and my roommate who are going on three years living together out of four.
                One of the best decisions I made my freshman year was going through Fall recruitment. I was beyond terrified but I walked into rooms of girls with open arms and I was so happy to find my home away from home. These are the girls I leaned on for the problems with friends, or a bad breakup with an ex boy friend. This is something I will never forget and always be apart of!
                Sophomore year of college I lived with 7 people including myself. This was one of the worst ideas I have made in college, because the amount of drama that came with living with some of my friends wasn't worth the friendships lost or broken. When you make a decision on who to live with the following year make sure you agree on stuff like when you go to bed, ideas on drinking or going out, and anything else that you know you value like shower time! When you have this many girls in an apartment, the hearsay it doesn't make for a great outcome. While we are all on speaking terms now one of my biggest regrets is not being as close to them or fully mending those wounds. 
                 Junior year I lived off campus in an apartment. I lived with my freshman roommate and a random girl. It wasn't half bad, we had our own place, kitchen, our own rooms, and our own bathroom! It went way better than any other year, I made new friends, I had a blast!
                 Senior year starts this Fall, my story hasn't been written yet. I am so excited to move in to an apartment off campus on Main Street with two of my sorority sisters. We may not have our own bathrooms or a gym right next door but we have each other and all the possibilities in the world. Lets see how this chapter ends, even though I never want it to!

How do you choose the right sorority for you?

            It is half way through summer, which means for most sorority girls it is almost recruitment time! That means fun florals, bright colors, Greek lettered shirts, and lots and lots of sister time!
            Fall of 2011 I had no clue what the hell I was getting myself into when I walking into the Student Union Building planning to go through recruitment. I talked to so many girls and forgot most of their faces. I remember the second night I walked into a room and a girl walked right up to me and asked me "Brooke, how was your day today? I am so glad you came back out!" I was astonished! Why would this awesome, fun girl remember me? There were hundreds of us, and I even forgot their names but lucky they had name tags. Finding your sorority should be the girls that you leave an impression on and that they leave one on you. Don't get me wrong the day I chose what sorority I wanted to put first on my preference card was scary... It was like deciding if you liked a guy and he liked you back. Will Phi Sigma Sigma want me to be a sister of there amazing sorority? Not going to lie and say I wouldn't have been completely devastated if they decided to pick another girl over me but the next day at bid day I was beyond pleased to be holding a Phi Sig bid!
             When going through look for a group of girls you can connect with, sometimes all that glitters is not gold. Although there may be some cool sororities with fun colors, you have to find the best sorority for YOU. They are also trying to find the best potential sisters for them! My suggestions is try to find a connection with their philanthropy, an event, mission, creed, values, some of their sisterhood events, one of the sisters... there is so many different things potential new members can do to find their home away from home.
               One final piece of advice I would give a potential new member who is going through recruitment, is to research. Research about all of the sororities you are going through especially through their national website. Also, if your friend from another school said a Zeta Zeta Zeta sorority was horrible at hazing and they are always mean doesn't necessarily mean the one at your school will be the exact same way. Just like how every class in high school club is different, doesn't mean they all act the same way and all run their meetings the same. Talk to upper class men or different faculty on campus... they usually have a pretty good perspective but do not use Greek Rank. I personally think that it is very negative outlook on the Greek community and that it is also not very accurate... I mean at all.
              But go through recruitment & walk your own path... and if you don't like it you can create a new one, with it hopefully leading to the sorority of your choice!