It's Who You're With That Matters

Since I started my undergrad education 2 years ago in a city halfway across the country from where I grew up, by far the hardest thing to do has been learning how to live with long distance friendships. Whether you’re at home or at school, there’s always a group of bright, lovely friends that you stay in touch with through text, snapchat, FaceTime, and, if you’re lucky, good old fashioned I-hopped-on-a-plane-just-to-see-you visits. 

Now I’m really lucky because one of my very best friends from school has come to visit me in my hometown of Washington D.C. twice now in the two years that I’ve known her. Last year, Delaney and I spent days at the zoo, exploring monuments, and checking out the hip neighborhoods – all of those fun touristy things that I’ve been doing with relatives and out of town friends since I was old enough to walk. Really if you’re ever in town, hit me up, cause I’ve got an evening monument tour that I could give in my sleep.

 

Delaney and I at the National Zoo in 2014.

But this second year around, the tourist routine didn’t seem to cut it. On Delaney’s first day here, I took her to a street fair in which I expected browsing to take at least an hour, and after a 15 minute spin through we were done. And that was when my little bit of anxiety started creeping in…was I being a terrible host for not having planned more effectively? I mean Delaney was only here for a few days! And she had come all the way to D.C. from Chicago! Shouldn’t I be making every moment as special as I could?

With these worries in the back of my mind we spent the afternoon sitting and just talking. After a couple of hours of chatting aimlessly we stopped and looked at each other, realizing that my lack of planning and trying to make it special had given us a great day. It was kind of nice, even though we only had four days to spend together to just take those hours and chill. To talk outdoors without a computer or cellphone in sight. To not worry about whether of not the moment was as special and unique as it could have been and just be able to enjoy each other. Even though we were busy and had limited time and at first it felt counterintuitive, there was no more valuable or special way we could have spent that day together than just doing nothing.

So I guess my big lesson was this: in our busy and scheduled lives, we need to take the pressure off our ourselves to have every moment we spend with our friends be special or planned. I mean, in the end Delaney didn’t come visit to see the city, she came to see me. It was a lovely reminder that it’s not what you’re doing or where you are, but who you’re with that matters.