What Your Mother Doesn't Tell You About: Going Greek

What Your Mother Doesn't Tell You About: Going Greek

You've seen it on TV. You've read about it in magazines. You've probably even seen these people on your college campus. You guessed it, I'm talking about the men and women of Greek Life. The leaders, scholars, philanthropists, and friends who make your college experience one worth living. Let me take you back to the first week of your freshman year in college, that was five years ago for me. You probably lived on campus, went to freshman orientation, and met some pretty cool people called your roommates. You might have even lived with your bestie from high school. My first week of freshman year was literally the worst week of my life. I go to a university that is less than 30 minutes away from my hometown. So, naturally, I thought commuting from home would be way better than living on campus because there would be so much more room for activities at my house (step brothers? get it? anyone?). Anyway, I began my first day of class with no new, cool, awesome friends that lived in my dorm hall. There were freshman orientations for students who lived on campus the weekend before classes started and commuters could attend those events too but I refused to attend those fun, inviting, probably really great events that I should have. So, back to that first semester. I knew I wanted to go Greek. I wanted to join a sorority, particularly one of the sororities on my campus that I am legacy to. I met a few cool people the first couple of weeks of school but we were just "in class" friends and nothing more. I had been dying for the day to come when I could receive a bid from my legacy sorority, run home to them, and live happily ever after. Fall 2010 recruitment came and I'm not really sure if I was shy or if I just expected to be handed this set of beautifully crafted letters but I did not put forth the effort that recruitment period. I probably wasn't ready to join a sorority even though I thought I 100% was. I came back out during Winter 2011 for recruitment. This time, it was better for me but I still had the same, common misconception that letters would just appear in front of me and life would be sunshine and daisies. While I did receive a bid to my legacy sorority I did not choose to become a PNM (potential new member) of their organization. Why? Why was this not what I thought it would be? Why did I walk away from something I had wanted so badly for so many years? What your mother doesn't tell you about going Greek is that you have to FIND your HOME. You can't base your decision off of what sorority your grandma, your mom, or your sister were in because everyone is different, weird right? I spent the rest of my freshman year and most of my summer trying to transfer to my university's rival school. When that wasn't in the cards for me, I found myself starting my second year at the same university I hated, still with no new friends. I had missed out on a lot by this point in my college career. Sure, I had been to a few parties freshman year but I was missing out on the experience of having real, true friends. So, I spent a lot of time my first semester of my second year in college visiting my friends from high school who went to other universities. Why? Because oddly enough, most of them were Greek. They were having the time of their lives with their sisters if they were in a sorority or their brothers if they were in a fraternity. They had found their homes which was something I thought I had no chance of finding at my university. Now, when I say "home" I don't mean a literal house in which you live - I mean an extension of yourself, a family, a group of people to support you no matter what. I sound like this was all about making friends but really it was about finding my place and making myself happy. Okay so, back on track, first semester of my second year. I met a girl in my 300 level creative writing class, we'll call her Marissa. Marissa was part of this local sorority I had never heard of on my campus, Kappa Tau Epsilon. Marissa was their recruitment chair and encouraged that I check KTE out the following semester. I was blind to the local sorority world because I grew up in a family of NPC (national panhellenic conference) sorority women. Before talking with Marissa, I thought local sororities were made up and not real things, like, they didn't really exist. I was completely and entirely wrong. Winter 2012, I gave it a shot and I checked it out. I went to all of the recruitment events of this local sorority. The very first girl I met when I walked into KTE's recruitment was a girl who would later become my big but we'll talk about her in a different post.

My big and I (after I already knew she was my big but we can pretend I didn't know).

 I instantly had a connection with her, a connection I cannot put in to words. After walking into the room and meeting many of the other girls that first day, I knew I had found exactly where I belonged. And so, I began my local sorority (which really isn't too different than a national sorority) journey with Kappa Tau Epsilon. Flash forward to present day - I am starting my sixth year in college and my fourth year as a sister of Kappa Tau Epsilon. I am currently KTE's recruitment chair and this is my second time serving on our executive board. I could not be happier to be such a big part of the potential new members' recruitment process. I am very excited to meet the girls coming through recruitment this fall and I'm delighted I get to experience my last Fall recruitment as recruitment chair.

KTE taking a break to be silly while preparing for Fall 2015 recruitment.

What your mother doesn't tell you about going Greek is that it is not an instant process. Sometimes it takes time and effort. You might have to try and try again before you find your home or you might click with girls of a specific chapter immediately and never look back. The point is, take a risk. Experience what is out there. Have an open mind. Take a chance. Going Greek is by far the best thing I've ever done in my life and I bet it will be the best thing you do in yours too. 

Venturing Out of Your Comfort Zone and Setting Goals

I am not an outdoors kind of girl. I love my regulated temperature settings, constant electricity, and comfy couches. Despite all of this, I somehow convinced myself that going on a camping and hiking trip with two of my friends from school would be an amazing pre-school weekend. Armed with an industrial can of bug spray, I not only survived the two and a half day trip, but I also hiked about 10 miles over the course of the weekend. It was an incredible trip and I am so much more capable because of it. Venturing outside of your comfort zone is never easy, but it can lead to some of the most rewarding experiences of your life.

I am a strong believer in goal setting and I think it is the best way to set yourself on a path to new experiences. No matter how big or small or how long or short term the goal is, it should be written down somewhere. This can be in your Notes app, or in a word doc, or (my personal favorite) in your planner, but it should be somewhere as a reference. Ventures like my trip are easy to formulate: a weekend camping trip, but I know not all out of your comfort zone experiences are as easy to write down or they may seem too big to handle. This comes to my second tip: write down all the smaller goals that will help you accomplish the big one and start to think of a timeline for it. In my case, the smaller goals were finds friends to go with, find a weekend, find a place, set a budget, etc. This can be a big list or a small list, but breaking down a big, scary thing into smaller parts will not only keep you on track, but it you will feel more accomplished and committed to finishing the task. It can also help during this planning process to find inspiration. If you want to lose weight, try following fitness Instagram accounts. If you want to start a blog, try finding some online you enjoy. If you want to redesign your house, try checking out ideas on Pinterest. When you have a visual to go along with what you’re imagining in your head, it can make everything seem more possible because you have proof that someone else has done this before you. Finally, find a friend to join you. Not only is it nice to have a buddy during a tough process to hold you accountable, but everything is more fun when you’re in it with someone else. This fall, I’m going to live with one of my friends from the trip, which if we can survive two nights in the woods we can definitely survive an apartment for a year.

Once you start accomplishing some of your smaller goals, keep a journal of how the process went. You can do this publicly on social media or keep it personal, but keeping track of the journey will help you get the most out of your experience. This also continues to keep you accountable for your timeline and for achieving your goal. Journaling is also a great way to remind yourself why you’re going beyond your boundaries. I wanted to go on my trip to not only prove to myself that I could, but because I’ve heard it’s an incredibly intimate experience to disconnect from everything and be in the woods. That’s some of what I got out of my weekend and by recording it through photos I took (oh hey, that’s me six miles later), I’m able to look back and relive all of those moments.

The final step to completing these goals is to reflect on your experience. I’ve found that this is a step everyone tends to skip, but I think it’s arguably the most important part. This is how you can set the groundwork for the next big step you take in your life. What worked? What didn’t work? What would you change for next time? How did you feel at the beginning of the experience? How do you feel now? How are you different? By taking a few minutes to reflect, you’re able to understand why the experience was important no matter what the results are and remember why you started out on the journey in the first place. This article is my reflection of my camping trip and the next time I go on a trip like it I’ll have a better idea of what to do when, for instance, we get lost on a trail and end up going in circles.

Routine is important. I am a typical Type A personality and love my routine. But I’ve also found that routine is the fastest way to burnout and frustration because all of a sudden it will be five years of the same thing. The best way to break your routine is to go outside your limitations and try something new. Confront it, break it down, and reflect. Everyone can try something new and you’ll never know what can change your life unless you do it.

Traveling with You Sisters- A Life Changing Experience

For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to travel. I know a lot of people say this, but in all honesty, in the deepest part of my soul, all I want is this world is to be able to see the world through my lens, capture it, and inspire others to do the same (if I got paid to do this that would be a great bonus).

Growing up, my father was never too keen on me being anywhere away from his abusive household. As I grew, my walls became covered with pictures and collages of the many places I wanted to visit. He would always tell me that I would never be able to go anywhere with out him, and I am sure, long before I realized how crazy he was, that every day I felt more and more trapped and thus longed to pick up and go anywhere my heart desired.

Sometime after my father was out of the picture, I was able to take my first adventure. In November of 2011, I registered for a travel course to spend 11 days exploring Greece at the end of May 2012. This was a dream come true for me, especially since years before I became “Greek” myself, I have always wanted to visit and learn about, in my mind, the most beautiful culture in the world.

The best part about this upcoming trip was knowing that I wasn’t going alone. Not only would I be traveling  to the most beautiful country in the world with a class, and a professor I already knew but I would be traveling to Greece with 5 others of my sorority sisters.

Traveling along Greece with my sisters brought us all closer. We learned a lot about the country, each other, and even ourselves. it was an experience that I wouldn’t want to share with anyone else and to this day, I encourage my fellow sisters to take the opportunity to take travel with each other.

And now I am telling you, take the opportunity while you young to travel with your sorority sisters because there are very few experiences in this world that would ever compare!

For me, this made my first traveling experience that much better. I was able to witness the true beauty of the country that is very much a part of me and my fellow Greeks, I was able to see the letters and recognize them, see the agriculture, and art, and country side and felt oddly connect to the place. It was comforting to know that I was not alone, that 7 other individuals (five  in my chapter, two in other sororities) felt that same connection. To this day, I long for the feelings that trip gave me, I long to be back, and I always look back and remember how we felt on that trip together, because all of were better people because of it.

Love Being in a Sorority? There's a Way You Can Do It Professionally!

Sisterhood events, semi-formals, recruitment, philanthropy work. Sororities really offer some of the best experiences in college. But why let the fun end there? There are many ways to keep the exciting memories coming after the first four years. You can join the local alumnae chapter or volunteer as a chapter advisor or chaperone your chapter's dances. These opportunities can be very rewarding, but there is a way to have all of this AND get paid!

Have you ever had a consultant visit your chapter? Those positions are typically contracted full time jobs for recent graduates. I graduated this past May, and received a job right out of college as a Leadership Development Consultant for Phi Sigma Sigma. As I was spending my last semester going to my internship in New York City, attending all of my classes, participating in sorority events, and doing my homework full of reading, writing papers, and preparing for exams, I frantically searched for full time jobs. I started hearing about an opportunity to be a traveling consultant for Phi Sigma Sigma after I had already applied to countless jobs. Even though working for my sorority was not my plan for after graduation, I decided to apply and see what could happen. So far, being a consultant has been a unique and exhilarating experience!

For Phi Sigma Sigma and many other Greek organizations, qualifications include being a graduate in good standing with the fraternity, having strong written and oral communication skills, and having the ability to foster and demonstrate teamwork and cooperation. Being a consultant means motivating and inspiring others to make the most of their collegiate experience while fostering leadership and positive growth. 

In return for the hard work advising and educating members on chapter operations and recruitment, this position sharpens many professional skills such as project and budget management, conflict resolution, event planning, and public speaking. This temporary position is a great stepping stone into any field because of these invaluable skills. 

OK, now for the real perks of the job. Like the title states, this is an opportunity to be a professional sorority woman! Even though I am a representative from Headquarters, I get all the perks of sorority life. I attend fun events for various chapters like a Zumba class with froyo for a health and wellness event, and Make a Wish parties for philanthropy work, and even recruitment video shoots. Not to mention all of the great conferences and training sessions with the headquarters staff! Plus, I am always getting countless free Phi Sig swag. Most of all, I get to see the positive change I make on these chapters. I develop a bond with the sisters who look up to me.

If you are looking for an exciting adventure like this, now is the time to apply for next year. Ask your advisor or headquarters staff about work opportunities, and see what you can do to continue your sorority experience!

Graduation Bucket List

This week is right to the point. I will walk away from my pretty little college in a month and it doesn't feel real. The past 4 years have been memorable, painful, crazy, sad, funny, and all of the above. But there are still a few things I want mark off my bucket list before I cross that stage. 

1. Go on a weekend adventure to someplace completely random with my besties.

2. Sneak a thermos of wine into class and get a little tipsy. 

3. Dance on a table. 

4. Tell standards the only thing I can say is I'm sorry for Party Rocking. 

5. Do a crazy dare from someone that normal Molly would NEVER d0. 

6. Go muddin. 

7. Put my cell down for a few days and just have a wine weekend with my girls. 

8. Celebrate every holiday we miss with each in one night (even Presidents' Day) 

9. Write everyone I care about letters for them to open whenever the need encouragement. 

10. Go out in a blaze of glory by doing one last bar crawl, collecting something from each bar, and top off my bad decisions box.

Not to reader // a bad decisions box is memorabilia from four years of college and some choices that turned out to be bad an or awkward. We all have them, no shame. 

11. and finally I want to get a picture of every guy or girl who been a total (insert bad word here) to me, hang them on a wall, fill balloons with paint and just chuck them.

All I can say at this point is I've got one month left, and I'm going to make the best of it! 

Also, I'm going to have the best cap ever!