Don't Forget to Say "I Love You!"

When we go to sleep each night, we never think that we'll never talk to someone again. We're always expecting to wake up in our perfect worlds and talk to the people that mean the most of us, never thinking for a single second that something could happen in a blink of an eye that could take them away from us forever.

On Monday, October 6th, I woke up to some of the worst news I could have ever gotten. I woke up to find a message saying that a guy I was involved with was in a car accident late Sunday night on his way home from work. After being hit by a drunk driver, he fought for about 36 hours until I heard the following day from a friend of his that he had passed away.

The worst part of all of this is that he lived in Boston. Unfortunately, hopping on a plane isn't the easiest or cheapest thing to do, so I had to suffer from a distance. I couldn't visit the hospital and I couldn't go to any services. 

To say that I was devastated is the understatement of the century. I didn't eat for days, I didn't go to classes, and when I could actually fall asleep, I cried myself to sleep. I was and still am miserable but I know that he would want me to continue with my life. Doing that is easier said than done but I've done it. 

I'm not saying any of this to gain sympathy from anybody, I'm saying it because it's what I feel on a daily basis. I feel my heart aching every single day and it aches down to the pit of my stomach. 

I miss him. I miss the sweet messages and all of the laughs and smiles he brought to my life. I miss talking until the early hours of the morning. I miss us talking about the geekiest things ever. I miss everything about him. 

The days preceding his death, I was being a complete brat and I know he wasn't happy with me. They always say never go to sleep or leave the house angry or upset. Well, he was working and I'll never know if he was upset with me or not when he passed away.

When you meet a certain person, you know immediately if they're meant to stay in your life or not. I know that he was meant to. He was only 23 and still full of life and he wasn't supposed to leave. 

Losing somebody you love is never easy. He knew everything about me, even the secrets kept in the deepest places of my soul. I can, without a doubt, say that I loved him with every piece of my heart. 

The day of his death, I had a meeting that I couldn't skip and after being there for only a few minutes, my sisters started showing up to the meeting (and my apartment that night)  with flowers, cookies, starbucks, cards, chocolate, and their unconditional love. Though my heart is still broken from the loss of this truly amazing man, the love and support that my sisters have shown me has been amazing and I am truly thankful to be apart of my sisterhood. 

Goodbyes make you realize a lot. They make you realize what you had and what you took for granted. Goodbyes are never easy. 

When you love somebody, you'd better tell them because you never know when you'll be talking to them for the last time. You never know when your world could be turned upside down and your heart be broken. If you love somebody, tell them and hold them tight because my biggest regret was that I didn't.


I may have lost the greatest love I've ever known but I've gained the greatest guardian angel.