Sisters are Forever

First and foremost, I owe you all an update and I've always prided myself on the fact that I am truthful no matter what. So for all of you wonderful readers who shared my original posting, commented on it, commented on the blog, sent your well wishes and prayers...I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Hearing from sisters of mine, that friends of theirs had seen it and prayed for all of us, helps me know I have a God bigger then anything and a support team larger then I'll ever know. I wish I could say each day is getting a little easier, but I think all of us are still lost and shocked. Each day I drive through our little college town and while I wish I could smile as I picture each memory, for right now all it brings is tears. There are days when I wake up and forget everything, I go to class, come home, sit down, and realize this isn't a dream. But I know, eventually, we're all going to get through this, and I can't thank you enough or pray enough about how lucky I am that people are keeping us in their thoughts. 

For those of you who may not know what I'm referring to.... 

Two weeks ago, I wrote about the death and loss of my little. We always think our letters define us but in reality, any of these letters say one thing....we are a greek life family and we stand together in good times and in bad. Death in general is hard, death of someone young is even harder, and the death of someone who meant so much to you is a pain so deep that it is unexplainable. But I've written my piece about me, my struggles, and my love for my Brookie so thats not what I really want to write today.

What I want to write today is about what this experience has taught me about being a Kappa Kappa Gamma. In 2012, I ran down Greek Row, bid in hand, ready to walk into my new home. I never knew what life changes I would go through here, the tears this house would know, the laughs forever hidden in the walls of the rooms, and the secrets that were whispered in the halls. You think that bid means socials and parties, but it's far from that.

The day our chapter lost Brooke (a sister, a friend, my little) was one of the worst days we have been through, and although the rest of that day after I got the news is almost completely blacked out, I remember small tidbits of things that made me realize I was always meant to be a part of this chapter. New members, who hardly knew my name, sat on the floor in front of me just putting their hands on my knees to show they were there, older sisters were holding Brooke's friends as tight as they could (quiet tears running down their own faces, while they tried to keep their composure enough to be a source of strength), and dozens of others, just holding each other...unable to speak. The house was eerily silent for the number of us who were there, and yet you could feel so much love and care without a single word being said. The scene was something I will never forget and it's not exactly a good memory, but it's a picture that will always prove to me that together our sisterhood can conquer anything and get through all challenges.

I thought that the hardest part was over after I left the house that day, but a week later, The sisters who were able to attend Brooke's funeral, decided to sing one of our Kappa songs during the service. I wasn't sure how it would turn out because I myself could barely breathe much less sing, and as I looked around at my sisters their tears seemed to be neverending as well, but when the time came and we circled up on the altar in front of everyone, without a word, hands slipped into one another and together we gave our fallen Kappa girl once last honor. 

"Dream a while of Kappa ever true 

Dream of her, and she will be with you

Dream of friendships through the years 

Dream of days, their joys and tears. 

Now it's time that you and I must part 

So take this Dream and place it in your heart 

Keep it dear until the time, 

We will meet again." 

Through tears, heartache and some wrong pitches here and there, we got through it.

You might be wondering why I'm saying all of this. Because honestly, I can't spend the rest of my life dedicating each blog posting I do to my sweet little (although if we're being honest, I probably have enough crazy stories to do so) but there's a bigger point here. 

When you join that sorority, when you accept that bid and those letters, you never know what you will face in those 4 years and while I sincerely hope those years are filled with love and laughter, none of us can plan the future. But just do me a favor and look around at your sisters everyday, those ladies, who you may fight or argue with, feel different from, or have never really gotten to know, are going to be there to support you and vice versa for years to come. When it comes to the good days and the bad, I promise you, sisterhood triumphs all, and I know this from my own very raw and new experience.

We are so blessed to have our organizations in our lives and while somedays you may be so frustrated that it doesn't seem worth it anymore, just know they will always be there if you need them.

"And in the years after, with tears and with laughter, we'll always remember our dear Kappa days."

(My sisters and I gather on the porch at a memorial service in Brooke's honor, with over 200+ people there to support our chapter)