Earlier this week, Kelsey Hau, a writer for Thought Catalog,
spoke about the continuous process of healing.
While reading her moving and very accurate perception of
healing, I began thinking about my own healing process and how I have come to
terms with all the things that happen to me.
Now I know I have referenced my first post several times
now, but I have come to find that life experiences are what make us into the
people that we are, for better and for worst. That being said, my healing
process and accepting what has happened to me is all part of who I am and in
many ways is still part of me today.
Back in May 2010 when my “father” was being sentence for
both his pill addition and crimes against me, the judge sentence him for 10
years for both crimes. (Mind you, I was sexually abused for 10 years). When I was
asked by the judge what I thought of the sentence, I remember saying "I
don't really consider it fair, because this is going to affect me the rest of
my life,"
It is true, my “father’s” abuse will always be a part of me,
but through out my healing process I realized that hating him doesn’t make me a
better person and in fact not hating him makes me a stronger person.
Over that past several years I have truly healed (maybe not
completely- I am not delusional enough to say I don’t have some issues that can
probably be linked to the abuse) from what I endured as a child by doing all
the things I never thought I could while living in that abusive household. From
joining my sorority to traveling the globe I have come to peace with my past by
living my life the way I see fit. I have found this “inner peace” and I am a
better person for it. While what
happened to me was never “okay”, I have realized that surviving it has me a
better, stronger, more compassionate person. To me, that is the sign of true
healing.
At this point I want
to give a quick shoot out to the people who have helped me heal and to those
who continue to do so (you all should know who you are). Thank you.
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